oneservant
New member
Context: we’re both 28 in Toronto, been dating over a year. He makes 80k/year and is currently paying ~1.3k/mo in rent. He’s talked for a bit about buying a van to live in, then committed to doing it with a friend of ours about a month ago, starting next year.
Now, he’s saying he wants to buy a house instead because he’s tired of throwing his money at rent and not seeing returns from it. I fully get it, but he’s saying he wants to buy in the spring which is really quick…And with his mom, who would be his tenant.
The problems (imo):
Am I wrong? Any advice here? Thanks for your help & reading this far.
TLDR my partner wants to buy a house with his mom via his mom’s rich friend, but doesn’t plan on living it in for long, nor any more than 4 days/week, and I fear he’s screwing himself over in the long run vs. getting ahead like he feels he is by making this decision.
Edit: I do not live with my partner, he doesn’t financially support me in any way either. I would not be living with him, I’m just worried he’s making a bad call and unsure if I’m just wrong. Clarifying as there seems to be some confusion here.
Now, he’s saying he wants to buy a house instead because he’s tired of throwing his money at rent and not seeing returns from it. I fully get it, but he’s saying he wants to buy in the spring which is really quick…And with his mom, who would be his tenant.
The problems (imo):
- The way they’d plan on buying the house is by having his mom’s friend (rich) buy the house outright for them, and then they’d pay the friend back at a very low interest rate. More on this in a sec.
- He’s intermingled finances with his mom before, and it didn’t go well.
- I think he’s partially motivated by wanting to help his mom, who has struggled financially for most of his life. She also hasn’t worked in over 10 years, and seems to only get by between LOCs and money given by her own mom (ie partner’s grandma), who’s financially comfy.
- He’d have to commute an extra 45-60 mins x2 each day for work. His solve? Buy a van that he could live in 3x/week closer to work.
- He said he’d plan on buying with an SO (presumably me) in 3-5 years, and leave the house to his mom to live in where she’d keep paying him rent. Here’s where point #1 comes back in: how can he guarantee she’d give him rent? What does the mom’s friend do if they fall behind on payments? The friend would be taking the money from his mom. Who says that his mom isn’t going to say “I’m making the payments to friend, not you, so I own this place, not you”? Or that she won’t say “I partially own this place”? Who’s to say the friend won’t claim the house as hers? It’s just so messy to me.
- Buying a house on his own would mean living significantly farther from Toronto and having to commute to work even further. This option of buying with mom gives him access to a better place, and one that’s closer to Toronto.
- He trusts his mom because to him, this situation is different than past ones. He believes fully that the place will be his. He also believes that his mom is gonna start working again soon, but I have no idea where this idea is coming from.
- He doesn’t want to sit around slowly building up a down payment that likely won’t keep up with housing price increases, and forever be stuck renting. He’d rather buy something now and sell it in 3ish years. He says he’d have more cash in hand for a down payment than if he were to save up every month, maintain a solid portfolio in the market, and keep his housing costs low.
Am I wrong? Any advice here? Thanks for your help & reading this far.
TLDR my partner wants to buy a house with his mom via his mom’s rich friend, but doesn’t plan on living it in for long, nor any more than 4 days/week, and I fear he’s screwing himself over in the long run vs. getting ahead like he feels he is by making this decision.
Edit: I do not live with my partner, he doesn’t financially support me in any way either. I would not be living with him, I’m just worried he’s making a bad call and unsure if I’m just wrong. Clarifying as there seems to be some confusion here.