@mpax38 Can you apply on his behalf? Or is that impossible or illegal? Can you get the equivalent of power of attorney so that you're able to act on his behalf legally?
@mpax38 That sounds like a him problem. Being humiliated by applying for money is a pride issue. Yet he has no issues with taking exorbitant amounts from his child instead.
Other comments are right. Move out cheaper and just give him instructions on how to apply. He can choose to be humiliated or not himself based on the circumstances afterwards
Boosting to your peers about your child making so much money to keep you living a wealthy life instead of being sent into retire home is literally what all Asian parents strives to do in their old age.
@dallasthomas Your metaphor fairly works for me, native Japanese. The person who is doing this post is younger than the father, and she/he is kouhai generation for her/his dads gen. Great metaphor.
@mpax38 It is strange that he considers it humiliating to get money that he's owed from the government based on the fact he had to pay taxes while he was/is working and they set up this for such cases.
Yet not too humiliating to get the money from his kid instead who isn't even set up for life yet, and forcing you to give him money so he doesn't qualify? I'd move out.
@mpax38 Why is their any shame? You dad has paid his taxes, followed the rules and now it is time for the country to give back. This is something people should be proud of, like being smart enough to have house insurance.
@abower12 He did not pay his personal taxes, but the company tax (not sure if this makes sense), so his pension is very low.
I know this sounds ridiculous, but he believes that people who apply for Seikatsu Hogo (Welfare Protection Law) are poor people financially AND spirit.
@mpax38 Look, I know that there is some cultural context here with East Asian families expecting children to help care for their elders, but this is absurd - I am a parent and the thought of forcing my child into poverty and ruining their future because of my own selfishness or pig-headedness about reaching out for support that exists precisely for situations like this just boils my blood.
Your dad isn't being reasonable and it doesn't sound like he's willing to listen to reason either. He absolutely should be ashamed, for thinking he's above people who accept social assistance when he's doing the exact same thing (taking handouts) but ruining his child's future in the process.
@natalieraye I wish that he would understand this general perspective, but he is too prideful to think as a “commoner”, and it pisses me off so damn much.
It’s truly a shame that my dad will never realize how his actions have affected my life. Making him realize that too just seems too spiteful too, and the fact he is near-death makes me think if it’s even worth it picking a fight.
@mpax38 What about your humiliation of not being able to live your own life? What about the humiliation of holding back your son and knee capping his ability to progress in life because of your own stupid pride? Grow some balls. Make your own decisions. Let your father own his. If he has to move to a smaller place so be it. It’s not like he will be homeless ffs
@fisherking Dad is forcing OP to subsidize dad’s life. Not the other way around. Sure, I recommended OP to move out, but Dad is guilt tripping OP to stay so it’s psychological difficult
@onthemoon He is 27 he shouldn’t have to come to Reddit for advice. Honestly he just needs to make more money or tell his father that he cannot for whatever reason get better pay and to leave it at that.
If I were in OPs situation I would agree with the dad and try to find a better job (I would try to get a better job anyways, that’s just mandatory). This way the dad would at least stop complaining and even if I don’t find it he would probably be proud instead of arguing because I agreed with him.
