Grew up under immigrant parents who knew nothing about money or finances. The one parent who I do live with is around 200k in debt but I am not close enough to them or willing to help out.
I graduated from UofT last year (studied both the arts and the sciences) and moved back to my hometown, Vancouver because Toronto rent was insane. My parent is emotionally abusive and manipulative (fueled my eating disorder and was suicidal when I was in high school so it was really hard on me mentally because I always wondered if I was going to come home from school to a dead parent) but I came back because I could not afford Toronto.
Right now I make around 45k/yr without taxes working in healthcare (I applied to around 100 jobs last fall and this was the one that gave me the most amount of pay). I pay my parent $600/mo for rent (and I cannot pay any less). I've thought about renting with others but I lived in a dorm for 3 years already and will only do it again as a last resort. Even if I do not like my family, my $600 being used to pay even a miniscule amount for the debt feels better to me.
I would love to have my own place someday as being with my family is supercharging my eating disorder again. I'd like to get help for this too but dieticians AND a therapist is way too costly for me... I got covered at UofT and the school dietician there was very helpful but I'm someone who needs a lot of help when it comes to food. I'd ideally like to talk to someone weekly but it is very, very costly. I've also been struggling a lot with social anxiety due to this eating disorder and I need help but everywhere I've asked has been very far (I don't have a car and I commute) or very expensive.
However, looking at the cost of housing in Vancouver, I can't see myself being able to afford a decent home with this salary anytime in my future. I don't have a lot in my savings as I've just started working and even if I had $100k it looks like I could really only afford a mortgage of around $350k based on TD Bank's calculator. And I don't even have $100k saved up.
I'm currently studying to go to medical school but this is absolutely not a guarantee and will take a while. I am stuck, terrified of thinking that if I don't get accepted, this will just be the rest of my life. Living with my family is taking a huge toll on me mentally as I'm someone who really needs her own space to think. I don't know if these are legitimate concerns or if I'm blowing things out of proportion because of my anxiety. I tried so hard but I'm so tired commuting every day, working 2 jobs (I had 3 until I got really sick overexerting myself), and I have little to no support or guidance. I wish I could just be a sugar baby or something but I'm not cute enough for that either lol... I just don't know what to do and would appreciate any tips or advice. I'm just so tired.
Edit: thank you to everyone who DMed me such kind words of encouragement, hope, and personal stories. I am definitely looking for a more realistic approach to things but many of the tips have been invaluable and your kindness will not go unnoticed.
I graduated from UofT last year (studied both the arts and the sciences) and moved back to my hometown, Vancouver because Toronto rent was insane. My parent is emotionally abusive and manipulative (fueled my eating disorder and was suicidal when I was in high school so it was really hard on me mentally because I always wondered if I was going to come home from school to a dead parent) but I came back because I could not afford Toronto.
Right now I make around 45k/yr without taxes working in healthcare (I applied to around 100 jobs last fall and this was the one that gave me the most amount of pay). I pay my parent $600/mo for rent (and I cannot pay any less). I've thought about renting with others but I lived in a dorm for 3 years already and will only do it again as a last resort. Even if I do not like my family, my $600 being used to pay even a miniscule amount for the debt feels better to me.
I would love to have my own place someday as being with my family is supercharging my eating disorder again. I'd like to get help for this too but dieticians AND a therapist is way too costly for me... I got covered at UofT and the school dietician there was very helpful but I'm someone who needs a lot of help when it comes to food. I'd ideally like to talk to someone weekly but it is very, very costly. I've also been struggling a lot with social anxiety due to this eating disorder and I need help but everywhere I've asked has been very far (I don't have a car and I commute) or very expensive.
However, looking at the cost of housing in Vancouver, I can't see myself being able to afford a decent home with this salary anytime in my future. I don't have a lot in my savings as I've just started working and even if I had $100k it looks like I could really only afford a mortgage of around $350k based on TD Bank's calculator. And I don't even have $100k saved up.
I'm currently studying to go to medical school but this is absolutely not a guarantee and will take a while. I am stuck, terrified of thinking that if I don't get accepted, this will just be the rest of my life. Living with my family is taking a huge toll on me mentally as I'm someone who really needs her own space to think. I don't know if these are legitimate concerns or if I'm blowing things out of proportion because of my anxiety. I tried so hard but I'm so tired commuting every day, working 2 jobs (I had 3 until I got really sick overexerting myself), and I have little to no support or guidance. I wish I could just be a sugar baby or something but I'm not cute enough for that either lol... I just don't know what to do and would appreciate any tips or advice. I'm just so tired.
Edit: thank you to everyone who DMed me such kind words of encouragement, hope, and personal stories. I am definitely looking for a more realistic approach to things but many of the tips have been invaluable and your kindness will not go unnoticed.