abaddonthedestroyer
New member
First of all I’d like to say right off the bat. I know. I know I fucked up too by not being on top of this. I have a lot of deep rooted anxiety and trauma when it comes to money and finances. I’m working on it.
ANYWAYS.
My husband decided to join the army last year. He’s been working on his warrant officer packet for a long time and I’d never seen him work so hard for something. I had my doubts about him joining because I’m a sahm of two and we aren’t in a great place financially. He basically said if he got accepted and didn’t get to do this he’d forever regret it and that we would probably end up getting divorced because he’d be so unhappy.
I asked him to make sure we would be ok financially. He mostly handles our finances and I raise our boys/take care of the home. Like I said, I should’ve been more aware and prepared.
We have about 44k in debt (I had no idea it was that much.) it’s credit cards, one loan, and medical bills because both our sons had extended hospital stays.
Before he officially joined I was throwing around the idea of bankruptcy to him because we are constantly struggling trying to keep up with our bills in this economy. He was scared that filing would affect his chances of getting a security clearance and said that maybe we can talk about it after he’s already in it. But that we had to keep up on all our payments so it doesn’t get affected.
I asked several times detailed questions on how much he’d get paid/bah/base pay just trying to make sure we’d be ok when he left. We got a decent amount in taxes that he thought would help us or last while he went into basic and WOCs.
He left for basic March 4 and I’ve been keeping an eye on our bank account and noticed it dwindling pretty fast. So despite my RUTHLESS phobia of finances I decided enough was enough and went through everything.
And holy shit. We have about 3,300 in payments each month. I’ve only gotten one check from his base pay so far and it was around 735. I read it can take months for BAH to kick in as well. Even when it does kick in, that combined with two 735 checks will NOT be enough to cover all of our payments let alone food, diapers, formula etc.
Now I’m spiraling into a pit of deep self resentment for not going further into detail before he joined. But he had me convinced it would all work out.
I’m going to have to skip some payments or else we won’t be able to pay rent or buy food.
My questions are: Will getting behind on some payments affect his chances of WOCs and flight school? Would filing for bankruptcy after he graduated basic completely ruin his chances as well?
I’m reading mixed things about it. Some say it does affect your security clearance and some says it doesn’t as long as you’re not in debt for something sketchy and that filing for bankruptcy can be a good thing by showing you’re trying to be responsible and take care of your financial situation.
There’s no way we can survive on his pay with all our debt. I would love to be able to work to help but we have no help with the kids. I don’t have family available and we obviously cannot afford childcare.
I’m at a loss. I obviously can only speak to him once a week and haven’t been able to speak to him yet since I found all this out. I really don’t want to ruin his chances and upset him but I need to feed my kids.
ANYWAYS.
My husband decided to join the army last year. He’s been working on his warrant officer packet for a long time and I’d never seen him work so hard for something. I had my doubts about him joining because I’m a sahm of two and we aren’t in a great place financially. He basically said if he got accepted and didn’t get to do this he’d forever regret it and that we would probably end up getting divorced because he’d be so unhappy.
I asked him to make sure we would be ok financially. He mostly handles our finances and I raise our boys/take care of the home. Like I said, I should’ve been more aware and prepared.
We have about 44k in debt (I had no idea it was that much.) it’s credit cards, one loan, and medical bills because both our sons had extended hospital stays.
Before he officially joined I was throwing around the idea of bankruptcy to him because we are constantly struggling trying to keep up with our bills in this economy. He was scared that filing would affect his chances of getting a security clearance and said that maybe we can talk about it after he’s already in it. But that we had to keep up on all our payments so it doesn’t get affected.
I asked several times detailed questions on how much he’d get paid/bah/base pay just trying to make sure we’d be ok when he left. We got a decent amount in taxes that he thought would help us or last while he went into basic and WOCs.
He left for basic March 4 and I’ve been keeping an eye on our bank account and noticed it dwindling pretty fast. So despite my RUTHLESS phobia of finances I decided enough was enough and went through everything.
And holy shit. We have about 3,300 in payments each month. I’ve only gotten one check from his base pay so far and it was around 735. I read it can take months for BAH to kick in as well. Even when it does kick in, that combined with two 735 checks will NOT be enough to cover all of our payments let alone food, diapers, formula etc.
Now I’m spiraling into a pit of deep self resentment for not going further into detail before he joined. But he had me convinced it would all work out.
I’m going to have to skip some payments or else we won’t be able to pay rent or buy food.
My questions are: Will getting behind on some payments affect his chances of WOCs and flight school? Would filing for bankruptcy after he graduated basic completely ruin his chances as well?
I’m reading mixed things about it. Some say it does affect your security clearance and some says it doesn’t as long as you’re not in debt for something sketchy and that filing for bankruptcy can be a good thing by showing you’re trying to be responsible and take care of your financial situation.
There’s no way we can survive on his pay with all our debt. I would love to be able to work to help but we have no help with the kids. I don’t have family available and we obviously cannot afford childcare.
I’m at a loss. I obviously can only speak to him once a week and haven’t been able to speak to him yet since I found all this out. I really don’t want to ruin his chances and upset him but I need to feed my kids.