@lightlovehope Personally, I think your cash flow statement is somewhat reasonable, but I do find you lacking in the asset department. Sure, the crypto might balloon, but it's a bit guessing, and your house (basically a liability with some inflation hedge capabilities) is not too bad, but I do think the taxable portfolio could be bigger and your savings as well, before you start to consider a 3m Italian mansion or two new cars.
More as an answer to your questions, I don't know if you think your kids will study in The Netherlands, Italy or elsewhere and this could drastically impact the needed savings. In the Netherlands, with your income level, you could basically cashflow them through higher education at a good university, but if they decide to go to the U.S. or elsewhere, you might need to save up for them and probably conservatively invest to maintain purchasing power.
Tips for retirement would be to further analyse your pensions at existing employers (any possibility to increase tax-exempt to your existing schemes? optionality to purchase jaarruimte life savings which are also tax-deductable after your expat ruling changes?) and the long-term income a 100k+80k gross income will yield after you've been here long enough (11k sounds expat/high on the net side, daycare tax rebate is high for an 180k household). I read down here your retirement will be along the lines of 7k, but is this guaranteed, expected and do you think you need to further build on the retirement accounts?