@shelly48 Well you have 3 and one on the way. You can't change the past and the future looks challenging. Time to see what you can do now.
Firstly what is the challenges you face as things are? Is there something damaged at home that needs to be done? Door? Window? Cupboard? Get it out the way and get a repair done.
Is there stuff you don't use on a daily bases or can't replace something you already using when the time comes? Get rid of it. Storage space is always useful and more space for the coming family member.
Factory shops are a great place to find some cheaper clothing especially underwear. If it's not seen but feels comfy, who cares?
Switch to plastic cups and plates. You have kids, they will brake stuff. Plastic does scratch with enough force, but it can last years. I have a plastic juice cup I use daily for over 30 years. It's tall so don't judge me. Ain't buying a glass tumbler that size.
Look at rewards programs and the benefits. You have to pay bills and other things any way right? Is there a way to pay and earn? Like filling at Engine will get you R1 a litre back in fuel cash in a place I know(dont usually use engine). However the fuel price was pretty steep. I get it cheaper at Shell and earn a few cents on my rewards card that builds up. I think you earn points as well with some banks. Just shopping with some cards let's you build up points or cash back.
Be aware of price differences. Buying bulk may seem cheap but even at makro, I found sometimes buying stuff single is cheaper.
Travel I can't tell you much since you know your situation, but lift clubs or public trsnsport(even tho it's failing in some places) is definitely cheaper. Wear on a vehicle is usually not taken into consideration when paying for lift clubs.
Smoking or drinking certainly is a vice you can do without, but everyone needs an outlet. Set yourself a limit if you do and make sure not to go over.
Saving is hard with kids, but if you can save, don't hesitate to.
Getting extra income is certainly not easy, but you should try. Not saying get a second job but a small extra bit would help. You could do your own car pool or even buy energy drink and keep in a cooler that you or your wife could sell. Not large-scale, but a few a day should cause much trouble. Won't suggest anything else, but the idea itself should work out for you.