Widow - 18 yrs daughter - Want to quit job

[cam]

Hi all, asking for genuine suggestions - pls do not post anything of sympathy

Am 39 this yr, Widowed n Have a 18 yr old daughter & she is in 1st yr degree. I do not own a home or any land & my job is my only source of income - 50K around per month is the take home. Have been working since 20+ yrs . The reporting manager since past 4yrs is a highly toxic misoginist who always tries to keep control on me for even small matters. Calls anytime in evenings, nights , Sundays too . Saturday entire team will have week off but he has been making me come & sit alone in office since past 2 yrs quoting if any emergency arises I would be required. I have been crying everyday on my way to office as far as I can remember. I dont have parents & my brother has his own burdens & sometimes depends on me for financial support. Below is my current saving & I have been thinking of quitting the job & taking a break as I have been working since almost my SSLC holidays.

With below savings , will I be able to afford to take a break ? In extreme situation if I do not find a suitable job , any suggestions on how I can generate some fixed income using below fund ?

Pls do not assume am telling all stories for sympathy , but its rather to explain why I do not want to work .

Kindly share your genuine suggestions.

Gold Jewellery ( For daughter marriage ) - 12 L

FD @ SBI ( Hoping to buy a plot in exterior of Blr) 20 L

Emergency fund 1 L

Home Leased 9 L

PF ( For retirement ) 7 L

PPF ( For daughter marriage ) 10 L

Stocks ( In negative currently by 20%) - This is for my future grandkids 2 L

 

[awesomejc]

@cam Here are my two cents:

1. You don't have sufficient money to take a break or retire.
2. Focus on your child's education, not her marriage.
3. Focus on the two of you, not on your grandchild.
4. You are good at communication which is a great asset. You have to search for new avenues.
5. Get term and health insurance first (if you don't already have) for the two of you. Make a budget, track every rupee you spend to know your monthly expenses. Once you have that number for your reference, you can decide if you can/want to switch to a less stressful job. The answer of every individual will be different to the question: How much salary is enough? Know your answer, that will provide you with a lot of clarity.
6. Take care of yourself and your girl, physically and mentally both. Health is more important than money, marriage or inheritance.
7. It is not necessary to live in Bengaluru or any other tier 1 city.
8. You are a very strong person and no a**hole can trouble you. The remote of your life is in your control.
9. Save for your retirement, not for marriage or inheritance. Indian society is changing and by the time your girl wants to marry, things would've (hopefully) changed even more.

 

[rohitnsy]

@awesomejc 100% agree with point 2.
Your financial situation is similar to most middle class families.
A lot of us in the comments section came from such a background.
Your kid is your biggest asset, invest in her education and hope for the best.

 

[cam]

@rohitnsy She is doing her degree in travel & tourism. She has plans for starting to work after degree though am still on getting her Masters done. If she chooses to study further , her marriage fund will be going into her education expense.

 

[cam]

@awesomejc these are the best points received !.

1. Well, sad but true .

2.For childs education am managing with my monthly income as of now. If I quit, am planning on taking her marriage fund for it.

3.Grandchild focus is considering my parents & grandparents left me & my brother to start from scratch. We didnt have education , neither food or clothing. Both me & my brother started working as day labours - I was working as helper/ cleaner in marriage functions & my brother was working as a mason & sometimes in cable wiring. I dont want my next generations to go through what we went through. Hence am investing on stocks even though a very small margin. This I have a strong inclination & while I understand ur point I wont be stopping investing on this

1. This where am blank. I dont know where to start but am willing to do my research . Maybe modify my resume & maybe use reddit for help
2. I do have office health insurance for me & daughter & term insurance for me alone. I will get a backup personal health insurance if I just give up on current job
3. Thanq. this I realised very very late & have taken up very strongly to safeguard my mental health
4. We are basically orphans - no where to go Maybe if I find a job somewhere but again daughters education is also here
5. I keep telling myself this but he keeps breaking me again & again. I am really tired & in verge of hitting him
6. Again, I am from a very poor family background & was married off to some random guy - reason no financial support. My mom was of very humble background & all she knew was daughters are supposed to be married off & she just gave me away to some psycho without any background enquiry or proper family - only coz it was a no expense marriage. While she had only good intentions , unluckily the result turn out to be not good for me. So , am very specific about my daughters marriage fund. Either its her own choice or through me - am going to give her a good start so that she doesnt has to go through what I went through. I will give her the fund - upto her to use to either marriage or business or travel or to just enjoy life : )

But really thanq for taking your time . You covered almost all the thoughts that I am going through & I am grateful for your suggestions.

 

[awesomejc]

@cam Your story is inspiring. I feel sad for you and proud of you. Keep it up.

 

[jakefu2013]

@awesomejc Wow man.. truly wise.. thanks for being on reddit.. wisdom and grounded is needed and appreciated

 

[rhett]

@cam My sympathies with your situation.

Please note that we are currently in a global slump, where finding jobs will be difficult without a job in hand or having a career gap.

I recommend you to stay put at your job and search for new jobs aggressively, this will be the only way out.

You could also search for jobs in relaxed careers like lecturer, administrative tasks, coaching centres etc.

I am afraid you can afford to have a career break given your kids education and rising cost of living. Try meditation and yoga to ease out stress.

Wishing you best of luck.

 

[cam]

@rhett I have been to a therapist few times though later i discontinued. My foray is good communication but my entire experience is fully in Manufacturing industries - wherein my career is stagnant since past few years as manufacturing industries need technical background. I am trying to shift to any service industry & unable to land anything immediately. Hence the break thought. Thanq for ur kind words though.

 

[brione]

@cam Time to find a different boss!

 

[cam]

@brione Working on it :0

 

[arthurkma]

@cam Let me start by saying, stay strong, you have come a long way and you have what it takes to continue. Please don't loose hope.

Secondly, I want you to think about this, if you are having thoughts of leaving job, I would rather take another job with slightly less money than to leave job completely. Expand your job search horizons to include stuff that you might not have thought of before and try thier. I am sure the light at the end of the tunnel is near.

Best of luck!

 

[cam]

@arthurkma Thanq & Noted

 

[heartoftherighteous]

@cam DM me your CV..I will see what can be done

 

[cam]

@heartoftherighteous kkul !

 

[shongy19]

@cam Why not switch jobs and take a month off before joining the new place?

You’re going to need more money to survive given that there is still a potential 40 years or so to go and inflation isn’t going to be kind.

 

[cam]

@shongy19 Hi, /// My foray is good communication but my entire experience is fully in Manufacturing industries - wherein my career is stagnant since past few years as manufacturing industries need technical background. I am trying to shift to any service industry & unable to land anything immediately.

And you are right, inflation is not going to be kind to anyone. Will try my best to switch only after having another job in hand but parallel am checking options if i can create any regular income with my exisitng funds.

 

[shongy19]

@cam You are one job switch away from getting rid of 90% of your current stress. Give yourself some room to breathe.

I think your focus currently should be on saving enough money in the right investments like mutual funds which will help you retire and survive one day. Good luck

 

[cam]

@shongy19 Hopeful.

 

[blessedchild9285]

@cam First things first - STOP GIVING YOUR BROTHER MONEY.