@brewersgirl74 Honestly, a lot of it is based on need.
Identifying your needs beyond sleeping, eating and staying healthy.
Start there, because if you're hemorrhaging vitamin D due to depression you'll do all kinds of things to fill that void. Master these things first. If you're taking care of yourself physically a lot of your needs come into perspective. Make sure you're up on your dental and health.
Then when it comes to budgeting, remember the 80/20 rule. 80% of what you spend on is 20% of what you do.
The big stuff will be glaring.
Generally it's car payments, housing, and eating out. Partying is usually an expense that people say you can cut - that means alcohol, women (hot boys too) and any kind of recreational drugs.
That's generally true but I find its incomplete. If you aren't doing some healthy dating you're gonna go crazy and do stupid things to fill a certain void. It might take a year, but when you go crazy you'll go hard.
So make sure you're living. Invest in healthy hobbies, don't just cut them all.
Then cut the big stuff.
Credit card payments, car payments, home payments. Downsize. A storage locker is cheaper than a room full of stuff you never use. Sell what you don't.
Make some friends who scrimp. You're making enough money to outsource some of your problems but nothing beats a thrifty friend.
If you're making 100k a year, things like suits and work garb you're going to need. Find a proper place to invest in and get into the kickbacks. If you do something more interesting, tattoos shockingly can be an investment (if you're a tattoo artist, pays to have some ink). I'm saying this because you have to invest in your work and your appearance matters. Don't listen to anyone claiming, "conventional wisdom" on how you should look. You're making 100k a year doing something right, but just know the world is superficial. Advertise who you are, not what people think "sells". Sometimes that means a few nice business suits, sometimes that means wearing the right sports attire. Follow your professional acumen, there's no correct way.
A lot of people will just say cut cut cut, and they're mostly right. Some good wisdom there.
But when you aren't investing or building something, you'll get itchy. You'll do dumb things.
Even Monks have something to live for, you can't emulate being zen without knowing what your zen is.
Investing in the markets is one way, collecting vintage watches - whatever. Get your money making money. The richest girl I know flips handbags making 2-3k profit - there's a market she understands and she likes handbags, so she exploits it. It sounds ridiculous but she makes more money doing that than I've ever made trading financial instruments. Life is chaos.
Turn your vices into virtues.
Obviously pay off any and all debt. If you have to return a car to the dealer, do it. If your rent is high move to a shoebox studio. If that affects your dating life, good, you shouldn't be dating people who are judging you based on your appearance.
You cultivate superficiality to project confidence, but life is cheap. You don't need much. Minimalist zen is a thing.
Check your credit card statements, things will become obvious. Start trying to use cards to keep track of your spending. Every month, shave off a big expense. Cut out a restaurant, stop shopping at the expensive grocery store. Start circling the outside and don't buy food that comes in boxes.
A large part of money these days is the times, we're in shrinkflation hell.
Find cheap hobbies because the world sucks right now. That's not you, it's the decay of modern society.
Lastly, you can't trust nearly anybody with your money. Just don't. If someone is good with money they are in hiding or buried trying to keep a family afloat. You'll never find them.
However you can find professionals in their fields easily. A massage therapist can help you keep your stress just plain gone. It's a 150 investment in keeping you from going insane. Chiropractors, acupuncturists are decent - forget about their efficacy scientifically. These are people who know happiness. This keeps you from getting into drugs, bad sex and getting lost in whatever dopamine you can chase. This is why people rave about manicures and pedicures. Happiness professionals. Spa's are an investment. Find a modality you like, go once a month. This will help level you out. If you're savvy, you can get your insurance to cover some of it - if you have good health insurance, talk to your doctor. A referral is hard to get, but crazy worth it.
That void is often a money pit, fill it. You can't cut the living out of your life, so do better living. Otherwise you'll get snapped back to reality when you date some nightmare because she knows how to manipulate you into being happy for 20 minutes a week, in exchange for half of your life.
Then, start meeting people in professional circles and focus on what they have to offer there.
Avoid financial advisors completely, they're experts in taking your money and making you feel good about it. They don't steal it, they just put it somewhere dusty and let it erode while they profit off of some ETF that gives them kickbacks. It doesn't hurt you, it just makes sure you put your money THERE.
Instead talk to older successful people.
Make some friends with old-timers, they've been through it all and the world is so shallow they don't appreciate their time. They're hiding in plain sight everywhere. Appreciate things, ask questions, listen for a long time. Share things.
Stitch 1 problem up at a time, don't try to fix it all. 80/20. Find what's hemorrhaging, plug it. Move on to the next. Can't fix it? Put it aside, fix the next one you can fix. 1 week at a time.
Lastly, and this is selfish - don't invest in people. Invest in professionals on the job.
It's really tempting to help friends, family, loved ones.
Here's the truth.
Anyone you help will feel indebted to you and come to hate you for it. This is a survival mechanism. Get helped, run away. You ruin your relationships by putting anyone around you into social debt. The nicer you are, the more likely they are to come to hate you.
It's a survival mechanism. It isn't rational. Sometimes they twist it into something rational to rationalize it, but the root is just insecurity and fear.
You can't beat that for other people.
So if you're gonna do it, form a company and put people to work. Pay for jobs. If people want to work it's one thing, but it's over when it's done. No debt. Pay on delivery. Then they can put it away. Otherwise it becomes a huge issue. This can help you with certain tasks too that might be ugly for you but easy for you.
Cleaning out a closet of things you got from an aunt who died, whom you loved? Easy for someone else to do. Great thing to outsource. Cleaning out a kitchen you shared with an ex? Great thing to outsource.
Anyway good luck, hope some of that was helpful.