Preparing for a child

[citizend]

Hello guys,

Found out last week I’m gonna become a dad. I’m thrilled and super happy, but after a week of positivity, I need to take care of some things.

I’m 25 my wife to be is 24.

My take home is €2600 a month (this is base pay, I’m a Sales Manager, and I do get good commission, but some months can be without commission, so let’s just use that for calculation. Commission can grant me up to almost €4000). I work in Telecommunication industry.

My rent is €640 except when it’s a 5 week month, it’s €800.

-rent 640

-electricity 50-70 (winter)

-loan 100 (will be paid of in 2 months)

-humm 80 (will be paid off in 5 months)

-subscriptions 100

-broadband and phones 100 (will be switched to my employer and dropped to 50)

I need to spend around €1000 for a wedding (small wedding just couple of people).

I don’t think we’ll send a kid to creche as I personally don’t have a driving license, and closest creche now taking is 20km away, while she does have a driving license, I have no place to park a car, and car payment + Parking permit + insurance would add too much to our bills right now, and we live in a town center.

If my S/O decides to go back to work, my mother will visit to help with the child, and her aunt and cousins are in Ireland so they offered help also.

How much is:
food for the child
nappies
Other things I need to worry about?

I will get clothes from my brothers children and a stroller.

I am planning of availing free college courses on Springboard+ and eCollege, particulary Business courses so I can get a better paying job. I actually do have BA degree in Electrical engineering but I don’t want to work in that branch.

I have free healthcare through my work.

My S/O is currently working, she doesn’t pay any bills. I just want to use my income, we are saving her money.

P.S I can’t figure out if I get anything from the government so I’m only calculating with my income.

 

[singerum]

@citizend If you are both working, you'll need childcare - if not crèche, then childminder or paying families.
If you're near an Aldi or a Lidl, then they have baby/children stuff in the middle aisle about four times a year so you can get quite a few things there.

 

[citizend]

@singerum She did express desire that she wants to be stay at home mom until the baby grows up and starts going to preschool. I told her I would have to calculate if we can financially do that.
Biggest hurdle with childcare is local creches don’t have any vacancies. I don’t understand how people get their kids to school.
We are just lucky that even though we’re both from the same country in EU, my parents are willing to help out and my mother is willing to relocate.
I’m also counting her cousin and aunt which are also happy to help. So if she decides to work we are in the lucky few that have someone to help out.

I went to Aldi and saw diapers are cheaper,I don’t know about baby formula, I’m quite oblivious about that. Should I be fine with their baby equipment? I know it’s a stupid question, but I asked for advice and people have so many conflicting opinions it’s actually super confusing.

 

[westdong]

@citizend Could consider saving her entire wage and adjusting to living on your wage from now. Her wage can be used as a buffer if it’s needed for the years she wants to stay home

 

[citizend]

@westdong That’s what I was thinking. Putting at least €250 aside from her wage on the side is gonna gain us €8000 by the time child gets born. We can without any problem survive on one wage. We both know how to cook, we know how to shop frugally. And that leaves her with €100 from her wage to either save or buy herself something, shopping or whatever.
Like I said I’m not counting my commission which I’m getting paid regularly from April to December basically, but you never know how it goes in sales.

I like your advice I think we can do that. Even better if she decides to save her whole wage, that’s additional €1200 on top. I would also save up my commission and just put my budgeting down.

 

[westdong]

@citizend Congratulations by the way. It’s life’s most amazing thing to bring a child into the world!

You definitely have the right mindset that will be needed to make it work, being frugal, cooking at home etc. The pay off will be so worth it for your fiancé to say home with your child, the first five years are so important.

 

[citizend]

@westdong Thank you so much! We are so excited! Obviously we are also scared a bit, but the positivity outweighs the small fear.

Yeah we both grew up a bit poor in our home country so thankfully we brought the right values here with cooking and stuff like that.

That’s exactly what I was thinking, because she’ll be happier at home with the child. Seeing little one walking first time and saying first words and stuff like that are not to be missed (my dad always says he feels bad for missing out those things with me and my bro), but with 40 hour work week with me, and her off it’ll be so cool.

 

[singerum]

@citizend If you're married and she is stay at home parent, you get a smallish help tax wise as you can assign all the personal tax credits to you, and you can get the home carer tax credit also (total about 3,500 a year less tax to pay).
Most of the Aldi toys, high chair etc are fine, I wouldn't buy their car seats just because they're random brand and hard to get help with them later.

 

[citizend]

@singerum Oh that’s class, thanks for this, noted.

I was thinking of assigning her personal tax credits to me after we get married, due to possibility of her staying at home.

I think the stroller my brother has already has a car seat included too, so we’re safe, but mostly high chair and that stroller toy where they can walk around and stuff like that.

Thanks for the advice, Aldi route we go.

 

[singerum]

@citizend There is also (in cork anyway) a few different parent-freecycle groups so people would pass along toys or clothes etc. often decent quality.

 

[citizend]

@singerum I’ll check for my area, probably on facebook.

 

[prov31gal12]

@citizend

Biggest hurdle with childcare is local creches don’t have any vacancies.

Get on the waiting list asap if you want to have the option of a creche in a year or two.

 

[citizend]

@prov31gal12 I already called, and they put me on a waiting list, but they just said:”We can’t promise you vacancy in future”. But look, crazier stuff has happened.

 

[apm437]

@citizend Look into child minder options if creche isn't optional.

 

[citizend]

@apm437 I will thank you!

 

[love1129]

@citizend So baby will get €140 per month in child benefit.

Your fiancé should also be entitled to maternity leave (there are some requirements, but even if her work doesn't cover it if she's been working for the last year she should be covered for the government maternity cover). It's roughly €270 a week, for 26 weeks.

You can also both apply for parents leave. Which is 7 weeks each before baby is 2. Again it's roughly €270 a week, but you don't need to take all 7 weeks at once. There are plans for this to be increased to 9 weeks.

You can apply for paternity leave, 2 weeks standard (or more if your work allows).

Be sure to register baby, and apply for their pps number in a timely manner. Once you have their pps you can apply for the free gp visits.

I wouldn't bulk buy nappies. Sometimes different brands can fit baby differently, so it'd be annoying to have lots of a brand that doesn't work.

If your partner is thinking of breastfeeding this will save not only on formula, but also on bottles/steriliser etc (if they aren't pumping).

Check out your healthcare policy. Some of them cover extras you wouldn't expect (for instance with vhi you get some free meals after baby is here, and things like parenting classes/baby swim classes/maternity scan).

 

[citizend]

@love1129 I don’t know if she could get maternity benefit due to her starting work in April this year. It says on the website it’s 39 continous weeks of work, but she’ll work 35 by the EOY. Now, the baby is due in January, but from my understanding it has to be in a year no?

I saw the parents leave thing, and this is great advice because I thought it’s just Paternity leave not for both parents, thanks for this!

I always wondered what happens if you don’t register the baby? It sounds funny not to register it, which obviously will be done.

I won’t bulk buy, my mother already recommended to wait for the baby thank you!

She is planning on breastfeeding too.

My healthcare policy covers me 100%, and it does cover the baby (for free), but I’ll check on the website what exactly do they cover. Fiancé also has cover from her work, she’s on VH1 while I’m on Laya. So we’ll take a look into it, thanks. I didn’t even know that!

 

[dontmindme]

@citizend I was a similar age and unemployed when I had my baby. But here's some things I did to save money that you might find helpful to know. (Though I'm very aware this is really penny pinching stuff).

You can get a lot of baby things like clothes, buggies and cribs second hand on Facebook market place, charity shops, donedeal or even just asking around. Really cuts down on the costs, especially since babies grow very quickly and people are looking to get rid of things they only used for like, 3 month. Only thing you really can't get secondhand is carseat! Just a safety issue.

Always save a bit of money for buying baby products after the baby arrives. There's always something you dont think you'll need/don't know about until the babys there. (Collic products for me).

Batch making baby food and freezing it saves you a lot of money in the long run. The pouches are handy but the price adds up really quickly.

Don't bulk buy products like nappies or formula in advance since the type you buy might not suit the baby.

Now this one is only for the desperate, and I was never this stuck financially but I did have to do it during lockdown so it's worth passing on. If the babygrows are too small but you can't buy the next size up immediately. You can cut the feet of the babygrows off and put socks on instead. Gives a extra couple of inches and gets a few extra wears in (wrecks the babygrows though).

I wanted to stay out of work as well until my son started preschool. But, when looking to buy a house the banks count unemployed partners as dependents. So with a baby that meant my partner had two dependents and didn't qualify for a mortgage. I went back to work when the baby was a year and a half and it was the best decision.

 

[citizend]

@dontmindme This is all amazing advice. We will have savings because we agreed on saving up her wages for the baby, but this will all help.

Especially with batch making baby food, as we’re already eating healthy, a lot of foods, meal prepping, so this will be natural for us!

And the last advice for cutting the clothes, you never know what might happen in the future, so it’s good thing to know this stuff. I’m saving this advice, thank you so much!

The biggest fear for me was that dependant mortgage thing also. Now we currently aren’t planning to buy, and by the time child is in preschool she’ll go back to work, but it’s good to know, thank you!

 

[fenhn]

@citizend Are you thinking of buying a house?

Rent is 640 for all 3 of you (baby included?)