Parents have lots of debt and no savings

[solo81]

@meesh1070 Your parents will have to work for the rest of their lives or until they can physically no longer do so. Another option is to sell their house, rent, and live on the balance after the mortgage is repaid.

 

[bygrace87]

@meesh1070 Might be a bit mean but tell them you will start supporting them more financially only if they start spending responsibly. For example they track their day expenses and show it to you.

Also if you're the only child and if they are willing, have them transfer the house in your name and pay the installments. Maybe refinance so that it's not a big burden? 200k for 30 years should be around 1k a month.

I know they are not great ideas but it's something to think about.

 

[daveyjoseph]

@meesh1070 First of all, kudos for amassing substantial net worth at your age. You sound like you know your way around money & investing, and this is a solid foundation for a great financial future.

Being raised with Asian values means there is expectation to take care of parents when they're retired. If you're unsure about the "acceptable" amount to give to parents, you could refer to the 50:30:20 rule. 50% of your nett income goes toward necessities, 20% toward savings, and 30% for other things that you value/ bring you joy. Know your necessities, be strict about saving 20% of your income, and the rest could go toward helping your parents.

My advice is to set a lower expectation than what you can afford. If you know that you could give MYR 1200, give only MYR 1000 every month. They don't have to know that the extra MYR 200 is saved and set aside for their emergencies.

You're right about not enabling bad money habits. Since your parents are not savvy with money, it will be even better if you could put their allowance directly toward necessities (electricity, phone bills, insurance, etc). You can frame it as helping them automate payments and avoiding late charges. They're free to spend the remaining cash. Be clear that you can't bail them out (or your spoilt sibling) beyond the set allowance amount.

It will take some adjustment, especially because you will have to lower your saving rate, but you have time to catch up. Parents don't. I hope when they're no longer around, you'll look back at your contribution with pride.

 

[griffithjose]

@meesh1070 I have to freelance on the side just so my mum has pocket money. Every month is like 1.5k out due to her spending, and I’m already paying for rent and utilities. It’s a really tough commitment (literally no rest days sometimes) but I can’t make myself run away from it. She’s not a bad mum, so I don’t think I can just say, “I want my own life, bye” and leave. The thing you also need to consider is that you’ve been living rent free up to 28 years old. I think in a way, they’ve also silently helped you save up the money that you have. I know we shouldn’t consider ourselves their retirement scheme, but just something to think about.

 

[meesh1070]

@griffithjose Hats off to you for your commitment! It’s definitely not easy to keep going with minimal rest.

As much as I want my own life, I also can’t just say bye and leave. Overall, they’re not terrible bad parents and I acknowledge that part of the reason I’ve been able to save up is because of living with them.

Thanks for your comment and all the best to you!

 

[pmmg]

@meesh1070 OP should not count EPF as your networth. Because u wont have access to the money right now.

 

[joep222w]

@pmmg You think it will be bankrupt in the future?

 

[pmmg]

@joep222w Guess not. But since OP has no access to the money in the foreseeable future, counting that as his networth only serves as a feel good factor.

 

[joep222w]

@pmmg Of course he has access to the money in the foreseeable future lol, anyone can foresee that he will have access to the money in the future, when he's 50 and 55

 

[pmmg]

@joep222w Hahaha it’s ok.

 

[streetcrusader]

@meesh1070 There's nothing wrong with working till the day you die. They can do that if they have debts.

 

[patrickwhitmore]

@meesh1070 cuba letak diri kita kat situasi emak dan ayah kita, raise a kid, owning a home, all other life expense. banyak mak ayah kena korbankan demi anak2 dan keluarga. Be grateful. Gratitude is simply being thankful and appreciative for what you have.

 

[mattmanticus]

@patrickwhitmore being grateful and not planning financially for 2 non working parents with no income and debts is how alot of young ppl go bankrupt

 

[rickinpearland]

@patrickwhitmore it's always the "be greatful". If everyone thinks like you, no wonder malaysians are complacent with where we are. Doing good isn't good enough. Do better.

 

[ginovat]

@patrickwhitmore Breadwinning isnt korban

 

[patrickwhitmore]

@ginovat kalau mak bapak mentaliti mcm kau mmg takkan lahir dah kau

 

[ginovat]

@patrickwhitmore Breadwinning, ie doing bare mins of what qualifies you as a parent doesnt entitle you to screwing up the lives of your offsprings, financially for one.

But youre gonna think otherwise still ofc. Silalah

 

[mereda]

@meesh1070 tldr, OP. but are you doing 200k asb financing? and what industry are u in?

 

[meesh1070]

@mereda No, I’m not bumi. Currently working in a bank on the back end.

 

[lukemaster130]

@meesh1070 yo OP. simple, get them to list what they spend on monthly. i think it's quite difficult to judge if they're wasteful in their spending or are spending on something essential to them

mind listing it down>