New Dad - how did it change your finances and what was your approach?

[christine7788]

32M first time dad.

Just welcomed my baby girl and it has simultaneously been the greatest joy and brought about the biggest challenges.
Previously DINK 350k/yr with not a care in the world.
Now it seems like money in = money out on just my income. Spouse intends to go back to work at 1 year mark but not set in stone.

Fellow dadditors of Oz, how did becoming a dad change your finances? Please share your experience in tackling this.

** baby is 4 months old, healthy, smiling, laughing but now hitting the dreaded sleep regression waking up every 1.5 hours overnight -.- F M L

 

[margaritaditte]

@christine7788 My only tip: keep as much sick leave as possible before she goes to daycare.

Having to take unpaid leave to look after a sick child makes you fight for every cent and can really dent your savings/ emergency fund.

 

[christine7788]

@margaritaditte Yup! We’re getting a taster of it now even from play groups. Bugs spreading like wildfire and next thing you know it, it’s a month until everyone in the household has caught it and fully recovered

 

[lone_disciple]

@christine7788 The daycare sickness cycle is painful. Wife was sick for a couple of months straight. Bub recovers quick though.

 

[pnwgirl]

@christine7788 Lifestyle inflation got ya, it’s hard going back

 

[christine7788]

@pnwgirl What?!? You’re telling me weekly Nobu, RMWilliams and yearly Europe trips aren’t a necessity?

 

[chinyere]

@christine7788 My poor arse doesn't even know what nobu is.

 

[rebecca25]

@chinyere Japanese/Peurivian cusine. Highly reccommended if you have the means.

 

[chinyere]

@rebecca25 See aforementioned broke arse

 

[imaninicolexoxo]

@chinyere I'm not even poor and I don't know, we live poor to be rich.

 

[lourdes_anita]

@christine7788 Our big mistake was not budgeting and changing our lifestyle to match.

Kept just living it up and dug a big hole before I learned my lesson.

 

[christine7788]

@lourdes_anita Spouse and myself have always been frugal and saved up a sizeable war chest prior to bub arriving.
Now that it’s actually hitting and we’re digging into savings is when I’m feeling the heat

 

[katxo]

@christine7788 That's the fate of high income earners. You don't get much financial assistance.

Just imagine doing it on 60k to 80k and thank your lucky stars that you're on more than that and you have savings.

That's what everyone does, btw. Digs into savings. The challenge is to not go backwards. Treading water is the norm.

 

[johnjayh]

@lourdes_anita Exactly, we’ve just finished paying some $80k/yr of school fees - now $30k and have been broke for years. I’ve done a huge spreadsheet now, down to every dollar. We’re selling our house and downsizing- have actually started by budgeting for $50k of super per year and etf investment, and are working backwards to work out what house we can afford after that (a lot less than I thought, it turns out)

 

[janananner]

@johnjayh $80k/yr in school fees?! Jeez. Seems alien to me. I had never met anyone who had been to private school prior to moving to Australia, now everyone seems to send their kids to private schools. Are public schools really that bad?

 

[stefaninilson]

@janananner Depends on the area you're in, and your expectations, and many other personal opinions.

$80k/year is likely 2 kids. $40k/year is pretty standard.

 

[peachie4408]

@johnjayh Great idea but if I can make a suggestion, maybe don’t do it to the exact $. Give yourself some breathing room and some mental freedom

 

[biblicaleq]

@christine7788 I'm not dad, but we split the work week so neither of us would have to give up our careers. I couldn't afford to take 4 years off and neither could he, so we both work part time. It also splits the child care and mental load a lot better. Highly, highly recommend if you can.

 

[eveningstarjj]

@biblicaleq This is the right answer. My wife often referred to mental load creep which started just after my paternity leave ended. I was able to take 8 weeks off and we shared everything pretty much until then. In the primary care giver role the mental load evolves from infants to toddlers, then the kids by stealth if the other partner is working most of the time.

 

[ocdandme]

@biblicaleq That's what we do too honestly works little bit better as she wants to work more than I do, and I love child rearing