How do you say no when (toxic) family members wanted to “borrow” scholarship money but doesnt intend to pay at all?
My parents know about my scholarship and has been getting money from me ever since (I never asked them for money anymore ever since SHS since I worked as a part time tutor during that time. Now living with them due to pandemic, gusto ata nila ako na bumuhay sa family coz their salary are used for luho related debts).
Pre-pandemic, I was on a different region and I payed for all my expenses including dorm fees, food, transpo. Everything. This pandemic, they kept pestering me about money lalo na at less gastos ako since im locked down with them. I contribute to the groceries naman, mga 3k a month, but they want my whole 7k/month scholarship allowance. I wanted to save money so bad so I don’t want them meddling with my financial life for their own selfishness.
They still borrow money until this day which never really gets paid. Reasons like “pambili natin ulam”, “panggasolina”, “pambili gulong”, “pang change oil”. (heck, why buy a car when u cant pay for its expenses) (plus everytime I have to go somewhere and ask them for a ride, I still have to pay for gasoline plus labor lol, so every ride costs me around 1k. Sana nag grab nalang ako pero baka may masabi eh
)
last time, my parents even called my scholarship unit to ask if my allowance has been debited to my account. So even if I want to cover up and tell them I’m on probation in receiving allowance so I have no money, I can’t.
During these times, this scenario, HOW CAN I SAY NO WHEN THEY WANT MY MONEY??
I tried talking to them before about savings, budgetting, etc but i was regarded to as “madamot, nagmamagaling, walang utang na loob, and disrespectful plus they are guilt tripping but the guilt tripping works everytime when I see them struggle with money even after they spend it on luho. Idk whats wrong with me. Send help.
Additional: I bought an ipad as a study investment 2 yrs ago from my scholarship allowance. When i received the money that time, I want to buy the iPad in cash, but they want to “borrow” the money. They told my tita to help me purchase the ipad via home credit so she did. My parents “promised” to pay the monthly fee since I lent my supposedly ipad payment money to them. In the end, i was the one who paid for the monthly bills and the money they ‘borrowed’ from me was never returned (so yeah double the expense on my part plus home credit interest fees). Take note, nakabili sila ng new luho(s) ah, even just recently, but cant pay me.
P.S. I really wanted to cut off ties with my fam due to high toxicity plus emotional and mental trauma from them ever since I was a kid. All those physical and emotional abuse. I mean im ok with providing if I have stable job naman, but scholarship money, really?
My parents know about my scholarship and has been getting money from me ever since (I never asked them for money anymore ever since SHS since I worked as a part time tutor during that time. Now living with them due to pandemic, gusto ata nila ako na bumuhay sa family coz their salary are used for luho related debts).
Pre-pandemic, I was on a different region and I payed for all my expenses including dorm fees, food, transpo. Everything. This pandemic, they kept pestering me about money lalo na at less gastos ako since im locked down with them. I contribute to the groceries naman, mga 3k a month, but they want my whole 7k/month scholarship allowance. I wanted to save money so bad so I don’t want them meddling with my financial life for their own selfishness.
They still borrow money until this day which never really gets paid. Reasons like “pambili natin ulam”, “panggasolina”, “pambili gulong”, “pang change oil”. (heck, why buy a car when u cant pay for its expenses) (plus everytime I have to go somewhere and ask them for a ride, I still have to pay for gasoline plus labor lol, so every ride costs me around 1k. Sana nag grab nalang ako pero baka may masabi eh
)last time, my parents even called my scholarship unit to ask if my allowance has been debited to my account. So even if I want to cover up and tell them I’m on probation in receiving allowance so I have no money, I can’t.
During these times, this scenario, HOW CAN I SAY NO WHEN THEY WANT MY MONEY??
I tried talking to them before about savings, budgetting, etc but i was regarded to as “madamot, nagmamagaling, walang utang na loob, and disrespectful plus they are guilt tripping but the guilt tripping works everytime when I see them struggle with money even after they spend it on luho. Idk whats wrong with me. Send help.
Additional: I bought an ipad as a study investment 2 yrs ago from my scholarship allowance. When i received the money that time, I want to buy the iPad in cash, but they want to “borrow” the money. They told my tita to help me purchase the ipad via home credit so she did. My parents “promised” to pay the monthly fee since I lent my supposedly ipad payment money to them. In the end, i was the one who paid for the monthly bills and the money they ‘borrowed’ from me was never returned (so yeah double the expense on my part plus home credit interest fees). Take note, nakabili sila ng new luho(s) ah, even just recently, but cant pay me.
P.S. I really wanted to cut off ties with my fam due to high toxicity plus emotional and mental trauma from them ever since I was a kid. All those physical and emotional abuse. I mean im ok with providing if I have stable job naman, but scholarship money, really?