Married couple, how do you handle finances?

[freesoul88]

@anjaylia I kinda agree.

Me 25M,
My girl 28F
She earning 2x more money than me, more mature, and obviously smarter (studied in Uk) , rich parent

While me just normal guy, studied local uni, and sometimes cheapskate with myself, also not from rich parent xD

She said to me she doesn't mind abt money, but i just felt pressured to think I can't cope to pay the mortgage and house expenses, etc later

She also not pressuring me to get married early

 

[anjaylia]

@freesoul88 I see... I feel u bro but you don't have to rush things cuz u only 25 what. Still got time to earn money also. Think in the long term and take that as motivation to earn more money. Society is hard towards men but use that to ur advantage to earn more or maybe start ur own business or some shit. Honestly I don't think I even need to think about marriage when u r 25. Ur prime years will be ur 30s so use all the energy u can in ur 20s to build urself up as a men and u can take risk also. Just don't borrow money from her or anyone and don't take out loan commitment on house or car otherwise u will be afraid to take risk on investment or opportunity.

Oh and one helpful tips is don't compare urself to ur peers like they brought new car or house or some shit coz honestly that's the definition of success for most poor people but for her she prob don't consider that as success and won't be impress lol. Focus on urself and look for alternative way to supplement ur income. Ur 20s should be the time where u try out as many things as u can and see what works and what doesn't coz when u r married and in ur 30s is much better to have a safer income stream then when you are in ur 20s.

If you are struggling with growing ur wealth I suggest you to educate yourself on financial literacy and putting some money in etf of other financial vehicle. (Depends on ur risk appetite)

No risk no Ferrari

 

[stringplayer]

@freesoul88 Just curious, why do you think she is with you? What attracts her to being with you?

 

[freesoul88]

@stringplayer

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[procakes223]

@freesoul88 Bruh, shes marrying a potential (in her view. Whether she realise it or unconsciously). Just because u earn rm3k, doesnt mean you will always earn that much. She knows you gonna have a bright future. And just because she earns rm7k, doesnt mean the income will be proportionally like that as time goes by. I was like you last time. Wife earns more than me before we got married, got everything. I have nothing on my name. No idea why she agreed. After 2 kids, then only she told me smart women marries potentials, they dont pick proven. Hubby will appreciate more cause she was with you when you were nothing. So, dont change who you are. Financially, as long as both of you agree on the arrangement, by all means i dont see why not. Rm10k for household income is definitely comfortable - not luxuriously but more than enough to get by for sure.

P/S - do not make salary a competition but always make a personal goal and motivation to improve your financials so you can give your family a better life. If by luck you earn more than wife, always remember to give more and redo your financials

 

[shannonhartwell24]

@freesoul88 For me we have separate accounts but I force her to invest/save some money from her salary every month. For commitments I practice the equity method so since I earn more I will pay more.

 

[lnavi]

@freesoul88 Everything of mine is hers, and everything of hers is hers. So far has worked out ok.

Ok, joking aside. We spoke about finances about 2/3 throughout our dating, our spending habits, hopes and dreams. I was honest to her that I had some debt and would clear it by the time I proposed which happened. I'm fairly low maintenance (good PC is all I need) my wife is more spendy but she spends well.

At the moment, (7+ years in marriage), we share everything. We are relatively organized in regards to monitoring our monthly expenditure with different buckets for expenses and investments including kids education fund. We make plans at the start of every year what we want to do or see.

Essentially we are a team, we are a family. build our wealth together and win together if we fail, we fail together.

 

[retrofuturist]

@freesoul88 i guess im lucky as for me we only allocated an agreed amounts to contribute for our 1st house mortage and some extra for the fees and utilities monthly

since im earning bit more than her ill take care of the car and 2nd house mortage

the rest is kinda auto pilot, she will pay for daily food if we order delivery while groceries and eat out will be mine

we do have our own saving for our kid

for me i think as long as each transparent of their situation will be great

 

[ooconvert]

@freesoul88 Buck up improve learn earn more

 

[phil4367]

@freesoul88 Married (34M) here.

I pay for everything big. House, car, internet etc.
She paid for anything small when she feels like it: occasional grocery and eatout.

I don’t ask for anything. I just wait for her to say she will pay if she feels like it. But I don’t have to give pocket money to her.

I think each couple is different. I pay more because I earn alot more than her. And most property is under my name, so I don’t expect her to share the cost.

I would definitely ask for her share if necessary like the investment that I planned as a couple for a fixed amount every month.

 

[stringplayer]

@freesoul88 OP after reading more of your responses, I’m curious how you both manage when it comes to dates, do you go strictly Dutch? What about travelling?

Have the two of you ever actively discussed marriage and what you respectively envision life after marriage to be like? Things like where to live (the cost of living in Kajang is vastly different than living in Mt Kiara), what your accommodation would be like, family planning, lifestyle habits (travelling, eating out), division of labour, career projection, etc?

 

[bolu1]

@freesoul88 I’m the sole breadwinner (wife freelances a bit here and there). We have a joint bank account. My income goes directly into said joint bank account, and our credit cards are all joint (I’m principal, she’s supplementary).

I’m in charge of everything finance so I do all the investments and monitoring. In short, wife is hands off and everything is shared. This works well for us because we have nothing to hide from one another and I love her truly.

 

[rella0710]

@freesoul88 Split bills according to earning. My husband earn 2x more than me hence he pays 75% of the bills the rest I take care of

 

[cor1234]

@freesoul88 Married since 2019, dated him since 2015. There should be NO secrets in relation to money between the both of you as a married couple, because that could break your relationship. We have a shared account and we put in a percentage of our income every month there for groceries, date nights, house loan, rental, travel, savings etc. The rest goes into our own bank account for our own wants - like hobbies, savings.

 

[7iceman7]

@freesoul88 We share our expenses because the reality is everyone is paid equally regardless of gender. Having said that as the guy, I do earn more so I do pay more of the expenses. Imo, finding the right partner equally means finding the right business partner, cos if one or both are financially illiterate, the marriage won't last long.

 

[stringplayer]

@7iceman7 ‘Everyone is paid equally regardless of gender’ it is indicated that women are usually paid averagely 20% less than men for doing the same role, due to the assumption or at least the probability that they may get pregnant which will cost their employer more from the aspects of maternal leave, insurance, be less able to contribute should there be heavy projects or overtime.

You’re clearly not female or else you’d know that some employers ask about relationships status / family plans as part of the interview, and it does weigh on their hiring decision as well.

I don’t agree with it but apparently that’s what most companies practice when hiring women.

 

[paula135711]

@7iceman7 I don’t know where you got your reality from but in my reality, women are generally paid lesser than men for the same role/position. And this is a worldwide issue.

 

[7iceman7]

@paula135711 In my capacity as an auditor I had the access to see various payroll from different companies. So aside from seeing the numbers close the gap, these companies that I audit also had the capability to meet the representation required. From my discussions with HR there are other more influencing factors other than gender that determine your pay. For instance - Job hopping, your skillset, number of experience. So it's not all black and white entirely is what I'm saying. These are just my perspective after a decade in the industry.

 

[paula135711]

@7iceman7 Just out of curiosity (and out of OP’s topic), does frequent job hopping helped with higher pay or does that depends on the industry/role?

My friends who are in sales role did say that job hopping helps them to get higher pay faster. Does that also apply to other non-sales roles?

 

[7iceman7]

@paula135711 Everything depends on what industry you're in especially if the job is more blue collared orientated. And yes as much as I hate to admit it, job hopping does increase your pay especially if that job is specifically your expertise. Regardless whether you're in sales or not they'll eventually ask what are your achievements in the previous job and there's no legit way for them to properly check so in the end it all really depends with how you present yourself. For me honestly is the best policy.