Married couple, how do you handle finances?

[fizzywig]

@freesoul88 so, you're being optimistic that pets won't get sick?

I know I might sound like a douche but what I'm trying to say is having pets you bear similar responsibility to "provide" for them. Care and needs.
The shower part, yes I agree it's minimal effort for cats. But food, cat litter, scratching post, toys etc all these cost money too.

 

[freesoul88]

@fizzywig Lucky being that cat

 

[meranda]

@freesoul88 oh friend, taking care of pets also included buying them training toys, suitable bed/poop pan and more. Some pets may need external training (cats included). Oh and don't forget vitamins, medication & vaccinations they cost as much as human medicine, if not more expensive.

 

[freesoul88]

@meranda Keep on going. I also have cat lol. Everyone opinion is different

 

[amyl]

@freesoul88 Make sure you always use protection then. I know countless married couples who weren't planning on getting pregnant, then bam, pregnant because the man is too lazy to wear condoms

 

[kuriosiesouschristos]

@freesoul88 I earn 70% of the household income so pay 70% of the expenses.

 

[akadascribe]

@kuriosiesouschristos So the household chores will be done 30% by you or 50/50?

 

[kuriosiesouschristos]

@akadascribe Household chores are split 50/50. I wouldn't say I work harder than her to earn more. It's just a matter of privilege.

 

[rhodius]

@kuriosiesouschristos I am earning 70% as well, on top of doing the 70% of chores. My heart is not in balance because of the inequality

 

[lyy150a]

@freesoul88 I am married woman. Share 50-50 on everything.

 

[jonathan1976]

@lyy150a A wise women once told me, if you want to keep a women happy; you need to give them an 'advantage'.

Make it 60/40. She will be more willing to put her share.

Tried it on my SO. Works like a charm.

 

[lynnie7]

@jonathan1976 So is she paying 60% or 40%?

 

[mlorrainee]

@lynnie7 At the beginning of the month she contributes 60%, end of the month she contributes another 40%

 

[phil4367]

@mlorrainee Please stop, i think she has too much “advantage”.

 

[stringplayer]

@lyy150a Just curious if you have kids? Usually when people reference 50:50 is only with regards to finances.

However when kids come into the picture, it’s the woman who has to bear the heavy cost in terms of health, career, time, mental and emotional labour etc. not to mention the trauma of delivery, breastfeeding, the primary role of childcare etc.

Hence I feel the least a man can do is to be financially supportive towards the mother of his children.

Lol I still remember a particular Reddit post where the OP disclaimed that his wife and him had agreed to go 50:50 at the beginning of their marriage, then blamed his wife for incurring higher than expected costs during her childbirth bc it took longer than expected and there were complications - he framed it as ‘all her fault’ and told her to pay for the difference out of her pocket lol what an ass

 

[oldtimedude]

@stringplayer This. 50:50 makes sense for DINKs, but kinda unfair for the wife if a couple has kids.

 

[micha]

@freesoul88 Very much depends on the couple (who earns more, who is better with discipline and numbers). I'm old fashioned, joint account and one person (me) handle all accounting and records. Most people will have one joint account for 50-50 spending (household), and individual accounts for their own spend. I find that less efficient, BUT it is a good protection for the wife against possible financial hardship if husband cheat. One person handling money has that big risk, so even if I use that old fashioned way I do recommend that the lower earning spouse has backup plan or relatively substantial stash somewhere. Can also be done by putting assets in spouse name.

 

[jumbojonesy]

@freesoul88 This is how we do it :

On payday, pay the bills ,utilities and debts first.

Then put away portion of it to ; emergency fund and savings.

Then the rest is you do whatever you want its not my money to tell where you can and cant spend it.

 

[abundance]

@freesoul88 Have a lot of discussions on your financial values and expectations before you get married. We had a household board meeting where each of us provided our income and expenses - fixed commitments, previous debts, and current assets/savings - and how to navigate. We did this discussion before we had our engagement. We talked about our life goals and what that entails especially if a partner needed to pursue further studies or was doing part time studies etc. We also talked about potential long distance for work and basically anything that may come up.

For us, we followed the nafkah guideline where the guy pay for rent, car and utilities, some toiletries, kid’s basics, and once a year baju if needed. The rest we help each other out like groceries, car fuel and maintenance, etc.

Then we touch base every four months or biannually for details or with new circumstances. We have a reminder group chat between us for little things and every month we communicate whenever we pay our monthly commitments etc. The little2 stuff for own hobbies and things like that is up to the individual as long as within our means. It’s a lot of trust and communication, as usual.

 

[anjaylia]

@freesoul88 Find urself a t20 woman. The more richer the women the less likely they feel entitled to have everything paid by men. Also u don't really need to be super rich to date a girl from rich background coz if they like u then they just like u and not from ur financial background. Most of the time they actually don't mind to sharing or splitting bill and they are more open to talk about money tbh. This is based from my experience... I noticed this when I hangout with different financial background people and honestly hate to say but usually richer people are more generous with their money and quite open minded. Now before u guys come at me this is just my experience and it might not be true for some of y'all.