@holyhelper Thank you. I was kind of in my feelings here reading people's responses just shitting on OP's wife's desires. I'm a stay at home wife, have been for years, and am currently pregnant. Quite frankly I never run out of things to do in the home. Cooking, cleaning, baking, decorating, laundry, mending clothes, planning our landscaping and gardening and implementing it, planning and coordinating all of our appointments and my husband's overtime schedule, making budgets, now planning for what we need for the nursery, design aspects if home renovations, etc... Stay at home wives are not just useless parasites. My husband's work is physically and psychologically demanding so he appreciates not having chores at home (aside from some renovation projects that he enjoys or working on the vehicles). He's also a veteran with PTSD so his stress management is important and my contribution to his life is invaluable. Since I've stayed home he has been able to find a career that fulfills him, he chooses to take on 2 overtime shifts a week at time and a half, and he will be able to go back to school part time next fall and keep working (minus the overtime, of course).
The real issue here seems to be that OP does not respect the role and doesn't desire to have a stay at home wife. This is a key component to having this type of marital dynamic and it going well. If my husband felt I was a liability or didn't value my contribution to our lives, I would feel deeply hurt. I think OP needs to be more honest with his wife about how he views homemakers and how he would feel being married to one. I also suggest OP show his wife this post and his responses. It will probably strike a very raw conversation.
