Kids

[dicey79]

@resjudicata All within 2 years. What a plan!

 

[giveheart]

@perpetuah Question: Does he actually want children? I understand from this post that this is important to you, but is fatherhood important to him?

 

[perpetuah]

@giveheart He says it is, I can't help but believe that deep down it is something he wants but now with this at play, I question if this is an "excuse".

 

[bflorrie]

@perpetuah You could always adopt in 2-5 years when you're more stable if that's something you and your SO are okay with, and there's also IVF. Best of luck.

 

[mrshomemaker]

@perpetuah You can raise kids with the bare minimum. A roof over their head, food on the table, second hand or free clothes (you can get them from your local buy nothing groups), public school cost very little, there’s Medicaid, food stamps, WIC, subsidized childcare etc. You can just scrape by day to day. The question is do you want to bring a baby into that environment? Only you can answer that question.

 

[porcelainrose]

@mrshomemaker And people should not be having children with a plan to rely on assistance. It’s not ethical nor is it practical. We are all just one government shut down away from never getting help again.

 

[yellowriver]

@perpetuah Why don't you wait and adopt? It's quite selfish to the baby considering the relationship rarely lasts through a newborn AND financial hardships, let alone the disconnection one side will feel when they have to pick up more shifts and spend less time with the family so you can afford necessities for said baby.

 

[400596rd]

@yellowriver It costs a lot of money to adopt. I'm not sure about how fostering works- maybe that's an option?

 

[kondwani]

@perpetuah OP, I can’t begin to tell you how much I feel for your post. Both my spouse are in agreements that we want to have children, but we also are aware of how difficult it will be for us to financially take on. I too have questionable fertility (PCOS) so there’s an ongoing fear to the “if” that will happen for us. My heart goes out to you!