I can't escape cancer and poverty chronic stree no matter how much I try or try not to

[episcopalman]

I was in Auckland in March and had hopped to see a better future and better support in Auckland. I saw a glimpse of that but had to return to Australia to go with my Mother to Sudan. Now Sudan is in a civil war. I will be returning back to Auckland with the next three months if I don't succumb to my mental health issues.

I'm 26 - I have osteoporosis - chronic fatigue and a lot more long term effects and permant disabilties that will carry on in my life. No mater if I accept or don't accept. No matter if I'm medicated or un medicated, at my best or at my worst, if I'm supported or not. I don't know the future but if any one was to say anything. I've worked no physical labour jobs and had to leave them because of my health and fatigue. I reduced my days and hours. I took time off. I tried different things. I thought about new work. I will never be able to work a full time job. It's just beyond my capacity and capabilities. If I wake up early and was to drive then I'm not the best driving in that condition. So rip to full time work. Let's look at part time work. Hmm I can do part time work maybe 1-2 days and then I have to take days off to recover. So again reduced work rate. I'll also most likely be stuck in low income low skilled jobs because of my issues with memory and uni. Doctors said I can't work anyway or drive. But what was I supposed to do give up?

I don't know what to do any more or with my life. I have goals and ambitions. It's not a matter of encouragement being gratefully or realizing something relaxing or w/e. It's a cold hard fact that I can not work.

If I can turn my current income into something which I doubt I can. And have already tried creative pursuits and everything.

What is left for me and what is my future like in Auckland. I want to be a contributing member in my life and in Auckland. Work isn't everything I have great qualities. But if I want to reach my goals it is very important.

I'm really lost and want to give up on life. In really close to doing that.

I need solutions

 

[martinly]

@episcopalman Try otago instead of Auckland. More support and less dog eat dog.

 

[joillian]

@episcopalman Hey! It sounds like your having a really rough time at he moment. I think it could be wise spending sometime building yourself a path to your goals. Where do you want to be in 3 years? 18 months from now, what will you need to be doing to meet that goal? A year from now? 6 months? 3 months? 1 month? Next week? Tomorrow?

For example you might decide 3 years from now you want to be finishing a degree in Sociology at Otago. So 18 months from now you need to be working on your second year papers. A year from now you need to be finishing your year one. 6 months from now you need to have done semester 1. 3 months from now you need to be comfortably living in Dunedin and halfway through the first semester. 1 month from now you need to be moving to Dunedin. A week from now, you need to be handing in your two weeks notice at your current job. And tomorrow, you would need to enroll.

Have a think about the kind of life you want three years from now. A good job that pays well and doesn't burn you out or worsen physical illnesses. A job that isn't too stressful etc etc. What kind of job is that? What qualifications do you need? What city is best for that kind of job? What support do you need to live there? What living situation can you afford.

Design your dream, then workout a route to get there. Each week do something towards it.

Some other thoughts...are you in contact with WINZ. They can help with finances while you are too sick to work.
If you want to do something meaningful while you get well enough to work, are there distance qualifications you could work on? That way it won't matter if you can't get out the house. Is there some volunteering that allows you to contribute to society, and that gives you experience for when your well enough to work?

 

[resjudicata]

@episcopalman Hey friend, I agree with the other commenter about dunedin/Otago maybe being a better fit. Rent is cheaper there and just more relaxed pace of life. Beyond that you know your limitations and seems like working one two days a week plus the benefit is what you need to plan around. So now it's about what jobs will fit that criteria. Obviously it will be a challenge to find the right one but not impossible. I think on the benefit you can rent a house and have a boarder and that can make people a little better off but it is a personal choice too for how you want to live. I'm sorry life has dealt you a heavy set of cards (is that even a saying??) but I'm wishing you all the best.