I’m finding it really hard to get motivated to go back to work after 5 months out.

[jdsh419]

So some background context; I have as few qualifications as any really after having to drop out of college after 18 months to help my single dad pay rent. As I result, I took a job back then as an 18 year old and spent nearly 7 years working for one of England’s biggest supermarkets, flashy I know. In 2013, I moved out to live with my other half and we got married in May 2017....we split up in August 2017 after she cheated on me and i’m still paying off the wedding.

I took a new job, still only low level employment, in December 2017 shortly after renting a room from my friend’s mum, he still lives at home. I stay there for a year, everything going relatively okay but I know maybe not sustainable. Friend’s mum asks me to move out because her daughter’s in trouble and wants to move home. Fine, I know how important family is to people. So January of this year, I move in with my grandparents (at age 26, this alone nearly caused me a breakdown). In February, my place of employment burns to the ground.

Now I will singing the praises of my former employer. It is bog standard shit warehouse work but the training, attention of health and safety, pay, treatment of staff after the fire, all absolutely phenomenal. Workers didn’t work for 5 months, yet received full pay. Anyway, it’s now at the point where i’m now officially redundant and unemployed, my last paycheck is this Friday (and it’s not a full one).

I’ve been looking for shit bog standard work anywhere for about 3 weeks and it’s either rejections or i’ve not applied because of crap pay or I know how they operate. I’ve even been on with an agency who got me work somewhere but I did one day and packed it in because it was a shambles. I’m finding it so hard to want to get up and get work but at the same time, I feel like i’m being snobby over my options. Partly because my last job treated me so well. But then i’m about to be on my last legs in terms of money.

I pay my grandparents £350 a month rent. I pay my (to-be) ex-wife £100 a month on a loan we had. I try to pay £100-150 towards my Paypal Credit account which i’ve used for big purchases in the past (£550 remaining). My two other personal bills make up £110 so total atm, i’m £750~ a month in bills. My next and last paycheck from old employer probably covers that but then I do nothing for a month. I have spent weeks, months in a bedroom almost weeks at a time and I just can’t see any hope in a future. Like how do I recover my life from here?

• One failed marriage, no qualifications, no good employment history, living with family, no savings, no hope, no will to live at this point. What future do I possibly have? I just can’t muster up any emotion to care about living anymore. I’d rather kick the bucket than face my future.

 

[allanb]

@jdsh419 I changed this for reasons (see date).

 

[lonic]

@allanb JSA / Universal Credit is a bit of a double edged sword. It's ok if you are not really counting on it.

The process can be pretty fucking humiliating at times, but then when I was unemployed and depressed AF it made me get out of the house. I think loads of people will recognise that in itself is sometimes a win.

I'm sorry I don't have any real advice, apart from saying... you are in a tough place, but it seems like you've persevered. You are not fucked, you have proven your resilience, and, I believe, with a bit of work and kindness you can get through this. It won't be easy, but it is possible!

 

[luris]

@lonic Might be controversial but if you go in fully prepared to jump through the hoops and genuinely look for any work you should be fine. Rules are rules and they can be unfair, but do what is asked and turn up early and you should be fine.

 

[ruky]

@jdsh419 Sign up to a load of agency's mate, tough times I've had my share

 

[jayabhai]

@jdsh419 Holy shit man you're only 26, there's no reason at all to be ashamed of living with family. That being said, if you did want to move out, you could very easily move into a house share and pay a similar amount for bills inc.

Since your outgoings are relatively low, you could have a think about returning to education and working part time. You'd be surprised about the uni courses you could get on to by showing some enthusiasm and passion

Edit: as other commenters have said, apprenticeships might not be a bad shout. My company has apprentices starting on £15.5k

Also worth mentioning that I'm 25 and whilst I've got a decent income, I'm still living in a house share. Don't beat yourself up too much, mate

 

[cqw]

@jayabhai I second this, you could even try couchsurfing.com or AirBnB or something like that, some of them are relatively cheap. And getting an degree or apprenticeship is totally worth it for the jobs you can get on the other side of it.

 

[tjb1955]

@jdsh419 The short term solution is to ring round a few local employment agencies. Warehouse work is frequently available at very short notice. Stick it out until your debts are paid off and then go from there. You’ve only a small debt at the moment but if you don’t keep on top of it then it can quickly spiral out of control, this will be detrimental to both your life and your mental health. Clear the debt and then go from there. Try to tackle the problems one by one and not all together at the same time.

 

[marc201311]

@jdsh419 Hang on am I to understand you were out on full pay for 5 months and didn’t even start to look for another job?

 

[soft_pink]

@marc201311 He said he started 3 weeks ago.

 

[californiachristian234]

@soft_pink 3 weeks < 5 months though, the point is they shot themselves in the foot by not looking for work immediately. It may seem harsh, but it's a hard truth. they could have been earning money on top of the 5 months of full pay, but they chose to get paid to do nothing for 5 months.

 

[geneh43]

@californiachristian234 To be fair, it sounds like it was "5 months without pay until the warehouse is fixed and everyone comes back to work".

I imagine at first, you don't know how long it will be, you don't *know* it will be 5 months - its easy to have hindsight now.

You also assume you're going back to a job.

Sounds like they eventually realised the business was over so then made everyone redundant. I wouldn't rail on OP too harsh here, its not like he was explicitly told "Here is 5 months gardening leave".

 

[marc201311]

@geneh43 I get it but really if he thought it through, he would have at least saved up hard for the worst case scenario

 

[jdsh419]

@geneh43 This is partially correct. Up until mid-May, we had hope of the company creating a temporary workplace on a different site but after they explored their options, it wasn’t feasible. Then we were made redundant obviously.

 

[californiachristian234]

@geneh43 Those are fair points, I didn't consider the fact that they may have inferred the existence of, or been promised a job to go back to.

 

[soft_pink]

@californiachristian234 I completely agree with you, but tough love only works with someone you've a relationship with, not with an anonymous stranger on reddit.

 

[californiachristian234]

@soft_pink True, not everyone is lucky enough to have someone like that in their life though.

 

[soft_pink]

@californiachristian234 That's a good point.

 

[jdsh419]

@californiachristian234 I couldn’t actually.

So the fire was February 5th. We were on the company books and receiving full pay until June 23rd. However if you took new full time employment in that time, you were expected to resign.

 

[californiachristian234]

@jdsh419

you were expected to resign

Did you sign anything to that effect?

A company can't force you to resign because you have another job, if that other job is affecting your ability to do your job, they can fire you, but you had no duties. They couldn't fire you so all they could do was ask you to resign, and unless it was in your contract, they could not force you to resign, you could have just kept both jobs, whether they liked it or not.