How Much Do We Need In Cashflow to Start Our Family?

[spectrehallow]

@aletheiapraise I make $115k per year ($5.8k/month after taxes, retirement, insurance, and HSA contributions) and my wife stays home. Our mortgage, including escrow, is $2k per month and we also have no other debt. We have plenty.

I will say my wife is very thrifty and saves us money on groceries and leverages our neighborhood’s Facebook page to get free or very cheap stuff. My son is 19 months and we’re still very comfortable.

 

[enid4]

@aletheiapraise Also in CO. We have 3 kids. If we absolutely needed we could probably get by on ~8k/month. That would be pretty tight though. If you can keep spending under control kids aren’t actually crazy expensive (excepting health issues). We’ve found the keeping up with the jones pressure absolutely intensifies with kids though.

 

[oam]

@aletheiapraise From the limited info, you seem fine. If you get to $40k, you'll definitely be fine. A couple of things that'll shock you:

1) Hospital bill: You'll get TWO deductibles to pay: yours and the baby's. Neat trick, America.

2) Diapers & formula: These were expensive "way back when" in 2010. I imagine they're only worse by a factor of 800% (approx).

3) Daycare! You're dodging a HUGE bullet. You owe your MIL BIG TIME. Don't let her lord it over your head, but also...treat her like the $15k-20k/year savings she is. ;-)

Overall, you'll feel the pressure of that $40k starting to dry up, right outta the gate. Don't worry, that's normal. What that WILL DO for you is to tighten the budget so you can get back as close to that $2.3k/month savings you had before. Savings is addictive. You'll want it back. And, about a year in, when you're FINALLY starting to be used to the additional costs...kiddo starts eating real, cheaper food! And when potty training kicks in, you'll be rich!

Then you have kid #2 b/c you celebrated too much. ;-)

Best of luck. Enjoy life. You're doing fine.

 

[aletheiapraise]

Thanks for all the responses, honestly its sounding like we dont have enough though....I agree we should probably be able to afford daycare if things with my MIL don't work out.

Im at a loss as what to do though. Im trying to get a promotion and so is my husband but those aren't garunteed and I dont know exactly what the pay bumps would be.

I guess im just sad. Ive always wanted to be a mom and we are ready in all the ways except financially and there litterally isnt anything more we can do at this point to "budget" more money to be available.

 

[cs1000]

@aletheiapraise Daycare is the only major expense for little kids, which you luckily don’t have.

$100 a month on diapers. $150 on formula (when you get to that point). That’s about it. Local Facebook groups are great for exchanging clothes and baby equipment that kids grow out of quickly.

Go for it

 

[equipped]

@aletheiapraise That’s better than most people

 

[phil4508]

@aletheiapraise There are too many variables to give a number that will be worth anything. Age makes a big difference. Medical costs are largely unknown before you’ve even conceived (could be perfectly health or could have serious chronic conditions). And income is also strongly correlated as wealthier families spend more on their kids’ clothing, toys, and experiences.

I’ve got two kids and you’re in better financial shape than we were when we had our first. Our 4 and 1 year old probably cost about $500/month each from clothing, food, toys, books, higher insurance premiums, misc gear that can all mostly be bought second hand. Higher in months when there’s a big medical expense. The biggest expenses at the start are childcare and formula, which can be avoided if you can breastfeed and have family nearby to watch the kids while you’re working (you’ve got a huge advantage here that most of us don’t have).

 

[tohellwiththedevil]

@aletheiapraise I recently saw a stat that said on average kids cost about $17k a year. So if you have $2k a month leftover, you are in good standing.

There are tons of variables though. You will never know until you start. There are ways to bring the cost down, like having your MIL help with childcare and getting clothes second hand. There are ways that it can be more expensive by choice, like having them involved in tons of activities and taking them on lavish vacations. But there are also unforeseen costs that aren't really up to you, like if there are medical complications that were unpreventable.

As far as getting ready goes, it sounds like you are as ready as anyone can be. Having a good chunk of savings ready to go is a great idea.

 

[molitor]

@tohellwiththedevil Agree with all this!!

I would say a good chunk of that 17k is childcare costs. OP said they won't need that, so they are in amazing shape if you ask me. I pay 8k in childcare, and that is on the cheap side.

 

[mel62]

@aletheiapraise If you aren’t paying for childcare, you should be just fine. Don’t put off having kids, it seems like you are financially ready now, and it would be a shame to wait and then discover you have trouble conceiving later.

 

[nokka]

@aletheiapraise Dude you are fine. Littles are cheap. You have more than enough money to start a family now

We use cloth diapers. $200 initially and then free, with slightly higher laundry electric consumption. We buy Costco baby wipes which are pretty cheap. We had to supplement formula because I had issues producing. It was $17 a week for about a year. Now we use regular milk. We got a ton of clothes and toys gifted and secondhand. Our son eats regular food, not pricy baby food, so slightly higher grocery bill, but that's it.

 

[frankyy]

@aletheiapraise I don't have kids, but I think generally people middle or lower class spend "as much as they can" on their kid. I'm sure you have enough to give the kid a great life! Many are able to do it with less than 150k a year.

 

[claudiabrinkmann1566]

@aletheiapraise I’ve got 3 kids on 130k or so. You’re good dude. Kids aren’t as crazy expensive as everyone makes it sound. You’ll have a baby shower and get a ton of stuff. Then the month to month is food and diapers. A lot of the expenses are daycare and it sounds like you’ve got that covered.

 

[epicscore]

@aletheiapraise In terms of childcare, it would be fantastic if it works out for your MIL to watch your little one. However, many of those arrangements don’t work out long term (because watching children is EXHAUSTING for anyone, let alone a grandparent. Or grandparents have different parenting philosophies and there is friction. Health concerns. Etc.). For as long as the your MIL is watching your little one, I recommend setting aside funds in case you DO ultimately need to pay for daycare or a nanny. Daycare in my area is $2,000-$2,500/month. Part time is a little cheaper, but not much (maybe $1,600-2,000/month).

 

[aletheiapraise]

@epicscore It just feels like if she cant do childcare we cant afford to have kids.... we don't have $2k a month just for child care on top of everything else.

 

[epicscore]

@aletheiapraise You could very well be fine, especially if the childcare arrangement with your MIL works out. My recommendation was just to squirrel away as much as possible while you have free childcare, to give yourself a cushion in case you need to start paying for it.

And remember that daycare is only for a few years. Many areas now have free or low cost pre-K through the public schools so you might only need to pay high daycare costs for 3-ish years.

Childcare costs have gotten so expensive these days, and very little of it goes to the actual daycare teachers. It’s a broken system.

 

[jesusislord16]

@aletheiapraise try living on one person’s income for three months. have a budget, every dollar with name and purpose.

 

[aletheiapraise]

@jesusislord16 We cannot afford to live on one person's income. We are both planning on still working

 

[resjudicata]

@aletheiapraise Where’s the heart? You have enough, go forth. How risk-averse can people get.

 

[maggiehowell23]

@aletheiapraise The truth of the matter is, you will likely never have enough. Depending on how the delivery goes and how good your insurance is - you could be paying $2k to $14k out of pocket. Could be more if things go a different route.

After that, you have car seat/diapers/formula if needed/misc. needs/stroller/changing pads/crib/etc./etc.. Childcare is not cheap, especially for infants 3-6 months. We pay approx. $3200 a month for 3 kids in daycare. I feel like this is on the lower end within our area.

It is good to have a goal to save towards, but do not hold out until you have “enough”. The process in “trying” can take a couple of months or much much longer.

Use all of your resources - family/friends/FB marketplace for hand-me-downs, lightly used items, and so on. There is no reason to spend an exorbitant amount of money for things you will likely only use for a few months to a year.

Cost per month will be relative to all of your needs, geo area, and how simple you can keep it.

Lastly, enjoy every second of it. It moves fast…

Source: I have 3 (2,3 and 5) and wouldn’t change it for a second.