How Much Do We Need In Cashflow to Start Our Family?

[aletheiapraise]

Hi All,

My huband and I live in Colorado and desperately want to start a family. We have no car payments, no credit card debt, or student loan debt. We make about $150k together and right now have $2300 left over every month after the bills are paid.

We wont be paying for child care as my MIL is retired and can take care of the baby when my husband has to go to the office.

We are currently saving and I hope to have about $40k in savings before we even start trying.

The problem is im worried our cashflow isnt enough. Ive been searching the internet and really havent found an answer.

So I would like to ask. How much do you spend on your kids monthly?

 

[martonna71]

@aletheiapraise Disclaimer: I don’t have kids yet, but I think about the costs of kids a lot

It’s sound like you’ve got plenty of cash flow especially with free childcare

You gotta remember that there are people who live paycheck to paycheck and get pregnant. They make it work

 

[nana7086]

@aletheiapraise You have enough to start a family. Not only that, but you have enough to provide well financially for yourself and your children.

The only number that really matters, though, is whatever you decide it is for yourselves.

 

[saskia]

@martonna71 If I had free child care I’d be rich. Over 2k a month (one of my monthly checks) to child care. It’s rough. Can’t wait for that to be over

 

[itsmeheathermarie]

@aletheiapraise Having a kid is an act of faith in your ability to adapt. If everything goes well, baby is bf, you have resources to use / clean cloth diapers at home, and someone is giving you hand-me-downs, then after a crib and carseat - a baby is practically free for the first few months.

Flipside - baby decides to appear an extra week early so makes a mandatory trip to the NICU. Has trouble bf-ing and needs formula. Is extra big or premie or out-of-season for those hand-me-downs and you have to purchase clothes new or somewhat new. MIL slips and breaks hip and now you have to help her along with losing your free childcare. You're looking at several hundred a month instead.

And that's just the beginning - life with kids is wonderfully crazy. They can be ridiculously healthy or perpetually sick. Sleep through the night like an angel or have colic for 8 months. And their expenses will be just as varied.

If you have your emergency fund set, have the best plan you can make to have a solid budget with margin for change, and have decent health insurance, then you're about as prepared as you're going to get. There's simply no guarantees, like I said - it's an act of faith and a wonderfully rewarding challenge.

 

[adilmalick]

@itsmeheathermarie Great answer.

 

[juliedowntherabbithole]

@aletheiapraise Also, you may have issues producing enough milk to breast feed your baby. Plan for the worst by calculating a budget with formula in it. If you’re lucky then you won’t need it.

 

[mary157]

@aletheiapraise I would still look into childcare just in case, that way you have an idea of the cost and what exists in your area. My MIL offered to watch our son (we paid her fairly) and this arrangement didn't last 6 months. We are starting daycare in a week. We make about the same income as you and no debt outside mortgage, we are doing fine. You will make your budget work.

 

[polcat]

@aletheiapraise How much do you have in savings and in investments?

 

[aletheiapraise]

@polcat Currently? Around 8k, not including retirement funds. But I am paying off my car right now, I plan to be done in November. Then from December forward we will start putting $1,500-$2,000 a month into HYSA. Like I said I plan to have around $40k by end of next year. Ideally probably $10k in stocks and the remainder in the HYSA

 

[polcat]

@aletheiapraise You guys should have enough and start looking at 529 plan for your child’s college.

 

[webershome]

@aletheiapraise parasol diapers for 84 a month package includes 4 bags of wipes

The highest end formula is hipp 45 a can or breast feed just eat organic

Outfits super cheap at second hand store like a garbage bag full for 20 dollars

Toys not expensive, 2nd hand store or just a couple don't need to overstimulate Baby.

Calculate difference in insurance plan family vs employee plus spouse, likly not more than 200 monthly.

Call hospitals and estimate out how much it will cost, assume 3k ish on average. Also look into if you can pick up hospital indmentiy insurance. Most plans pay out a grand, costs u less than 200 for the year, kicks in when you spend more than 2 days in hospital, which you will be for most births.

So yeah you can afford it np, good luck

 

[peccavi44]

@aletheiapraise You have more than enough, especially you won't have to pay for daycare. Kids are extremely flexible, you can either raise them poor or rich.

For example, you can pay $100 a month to buy your kid toys from Lovery, or you can let your kid plays cheap toys for $10 a month.

 

[stokinbusuk]

@aletheiapraise Also plan for the fact that your partner will not be able to actually accomplish much wfh with a baby to care for. So you may need to budget for daycare on those days that he doesn’t need to go into the office. Other than that, you’re fine. We had a kid and made do- figured out the money as we went along- had two more. Sent one to college and are saving for the others to go too. Just have the baby, love it, live the life you can afford and enjoy each other. Life doesn’t necessarily fit onto an excel spreadsheet.

 

[solomnpromise]

@aletheiapraise Just to clarify is your childcare plan that your husband will both work from home and provide full-time care for the baby except in some cases when he has to go to the office?

 

[aletheiapraise]

@solomnpromise No, I have to be in the office/field full time. Other ladies at my company have been able to work from home 1 day a week, so hoping to do the same.

So I would be home 1 day, my husband is home 2 days, and the other days my MIL would have the baby.

 

[solomnpromise]

@aletheiapraise You can work from home and take care of the baby for the first few months but after that it’s very dicey. There are of course people who do it, but you either suck at your job, suck at taking care of your baby or most likely both.

After your baby gets mobile around six months it becomes very hard and after a year when they’re walking and constantly trying to kill themselves it becomes incredibly difficult to multi-task.

So either cocomelon becomes your full-time sitter while you try to shove in as much work as possible during naps and before and after the baby sleeps or you become about 30% as productive.

I would in no way PLAN to try to care for a baby full-time while simultaneously trying to work a full-time job, even just for a portion of the week.

Said another way - if you had a nanny would you be ok if they were trying to simultaneously have a second job? Of course not, because you know they would be providing sub par care to your child. The same is true of you.

 

[dsvloper88]

@aletheiapraise How flexible are your and your husband’s workplaces? One thing you need to remember is that if your mom gets sick, you or your husband may have to call out of work. Like the person said, infancy is easy to work through but once they get mobile you really can’t do your job effectively from home to watch them.

I’m a nurse and most of my coworkers are moms. They are often calling out of work during sick season because their sitter got sick or their kid got sick, and they themselves come to work sick because they have no more sick time left. See if you can find another person besides your mom as a backup, maybe another relative or a neighbor. My sister had to go part time and only works every couple weekends because they just didn’t have reliable childcare, and their combined income took a big hit.

 

[bluestarsky]

@aletheiapraise I really don’t want to think about how much I spend on my soon to be 3 kids. It’s hard to judge. There are a lot of start up costs buying a crib and things like that. There’s a lot of variables based on the quality of things you buy like clothes and baby gear. I got almost everything second hand and didn’t spend too much. I buy diapers from Costco and that’s probably $50/month. Formula is crazy expensive if you don’t breastfeed. One expense I was not prepared for was how much our health insurance went up after upgrading to a family plan,

 

[assilvertried]

@aletheiapraise I don’t really think there’s a good number, people seem to do it on less. We had quite a bit left over each month when we had our son, but we were older (37,38), and established in our careers. I don’t know how old you are so that may or may not be a factor. One thing I’d keep in mind is I would always make sure you have enough just in case you need to do daycare. MIL may be able to do it now, but that also could change suddenly (what happens if she gets sick). I had a friend who relied on her MIL for care and eventually MIL burned out and couldn’t do it anymore.