Friend won’t pay me back, what’s my opinions?

[frogwellprincess]

My friend asked me for rm 7K almost 20 months ago, I gave it to him.

After 7 months he gave me 500 back and
promised he’ll pay the rest with time.

I never asked him or pressured him all this time because I didn’t need the money, until recently.

The only time I asked him to start paying me back was last month, 19 months after giving him the money and he didn’t reply.

Fast forward to today, 20 months later, he still hasn’t responded to WhatsApp or answers calls.

I know him very well, he’s single with no responsibilities, has a very well paying job, investments, emergency fund, car. So I know he’s choosing to not pay me back!

Should I go to small claims court? Or file a police report?

I know his mom and have her number, should I get her nvolved first?

Should I go to the store where he works and confront him?

 

[amrie]

@frogwellprincess

I know him very well, he’s single with no responsibilities, has a very well paying job, investments, emergency fund, car. So I know he’s choosing to not pay me back!

Seems like you don't know him very well then.. He's rich but you still needed to lend him money??

Anyway I don't think you can do anything as there is no proof of you lending him the money (unless you have a written agreement). For your transaction with him, even if it's online with a trail, it is more akin to you giving him money instead of lending him money. I hope to be wrong for your sake though.

 

[podlife]

@amrie Don't be so harsh (albeit completely correct) on OP. Many people improvise themselves to be bankers. "It's just giving money to someone you know and waiting!".

The problem being that most small borrowers of convenience (not out of necessity) are borderline mentally disordered people, who will always outspend what they earn. Same vein as gambling addiction. Whatever money you give them, it's probably already gone into repaying an earlier debt. And to repay you, they'll need to borrow from someone else. The entire credit card industry survives on them. That's how reliably in debt they are. The wealthy ones are the worst by far, since they see their relationships as a long list of potential creditors.

As for the court, though the limit is only 5k, WhatsApp messages can be enough to show a "beginning of proof",which tends to be enough.

I don't know if Malaysian courts let you underclaim to structure your demands though. For sure you cannot claim twice on the same debt unless new elements came to refresh the state, so anything above 5k is forfeit.

 

[creekwalker]

@frogwellprincess This is why you never lend money to anyone, be it family, friends or colleague. Once the money is gone there is a high possibility you will never get it back.

 

[fetaccinealfredo]

@creekwalker You lend money to friends & family under the mindset that you may never see it again. If they give back it’s a pleasant suprise, if not, you should’ve seen it coming

 

[ai1226]

@fetaccinealfredo Truer words were never spoken.

 

[lynnie7]

@creekwalker You can but make sure to have sign black and white with video evidence as a requirement. If they refuse, then don't give it to them.

 

[nickblack]

@frogwellprincess I advise you to file a small claim against him and send him the court letter. Only then he will awake and settle the payment.

 

[amrie]

@nickblack Just curious, isn't the small claims court for amount below RM5k? For OP's case, can he still go through the small claims court for his RM7k?

 

[nickblack]

@amrie My bad. Yes, not exceed RM5K. For RM7K, he needs to go through normal court process. Unless he is willing to claim only up to max RM5K for his small claim.

 

[tctruongson]

@nickblack I would say claim up to 5k max as a wake up call. Can double claim? lol. Meaning 1 time 5k another time 2k

 

[puremgtowpaladin]

@nickblack Call the mum and ask her to help her son pay back rm2000 and you’re done with it.

Proceeds to small claim him for remaining 5k. Just make sure you don’t use message or anything. Use call or even better meet his mom straight to discuss.

 

[dejada5711]

@amrie Yes it is limited to 5k, that's what I went through. I went in knowing I'll only retrieve a portion of it, rather them let borrower drag for years to pay back full amount.

 

[seeker112]

@nickblack Actually how does it work? Just proof from whatsapp is enough ? What if no messaging history and it was through real life talking with each other only? How to proof

 

[apersonwithnoname]

@frogwellprincess Get the Mother involved

 

[orangetree334]

@frogwellprincess Never lend something u can't afford to lose

 

[truthisfreedom]

@frogwellprincess Anytime I've ever lent someone money, whether it was RM2 or RM2000, I've never got it back. Not once.

 

[ineedadvice101]

@frogwellprincess Never lend friends money because you are not the bank and have no real way of forcing him to pay back. Even if you have a signed document, its going to be troublesome. Consider the money gone.

I know him very well, he’s single with no responsibilities, has a very well paying job, investments, emergency fund, car.

Why he needs 7k from you then?

 

[griswold]

@frogwellprincess When you consider lending money to friends and family, remember this crucial piece of advice: never expect it to be returned. If you can embrace this mindset, you'll avoid the disappointment and potential strain on your relationships that can arise from unmet expectations. Approach these situations as an opportunity to help someone you care about, without anticipating repayment. Adopting this perspective not only preserves your relationships but also spares you unnecessary stress. It's a valuable lesson learned through experience, emphasizing the importance of clear communication and setting boundaries in financial dealings with loved ones.

GOD will find a way to compensate you in many different forms.

 

[jezreel37]

@griswold I disagree with “never expect it to be returned” because then you should say give instead of lend. When I lend I make sure I can accept that whatever I lend may not be returned and ask myself if I can accept else I won’t lend.

And always remember that the borrower is a slave a to the lender. There is no longer equal level in that friendship/relationship