Financial Loss

[cookie1720]

How do u guys deal with financial loss? How to move on?

My mom lost RM42K due to scam, luckily she still has some savings in kwsp acc, and still working. What should i do as her daughter( Im a working adult btw) ?

Update: thank you all for your kind words . I have read each of your comments, I truly appreciate it.

 

[grampster]

@cookie1720 I’m sorry to say there’s nothing much you can do but take it as a lesson and move on. As a daughter, you can probably tell your mom to consult you in any product that isn’t regulated by SC or PIDM in the future to prevent further losses.

 

[cookie1720]

@grampster She lied to me and my siblings, she knows that i would be mad if she told me the truth. Ended up it was a scam. When I knew, she already transferred all of her money to the scammer. It was too late. Things could've been prevented if only she told us the truth, there were times that we keep on remind her to be aware of scams. But not sure why this time she falls into the telegram trap.

 

[paula135711]

@cookie1720 Sorry to hear about the loss. I'm not sure about the specifics of the scam, but perhaps there's a reason why she didn't disclose it to you or your siblings.

In my mother's situation (she fell victim to the Macau scam and lost 60k), she was threatened & intimidated by the scammer, leading her to keep it a secret from us until it was too late. She was living alone at that time so my sibling and I weren’t aware until she told us.

But when I learned about it, I reassured her that it's alright. Money can be earned again, despite not being wealthy. What matters most is her safety and well-being.

I think it’s important not to blame your mom or criticize her actions, as you don’t fully grasp the emotional turmoil she endured during the scam. Scammers are skilled at manipulating their victims, regardless of age.

You can comfort your mom by letting her know it's alright and to be more cautious in the future, and to involve you or your siblings in any suspicious situations.

Regarding the lost money, there's little you can do apart from filing a police report.

 

[cookie1720]

@paula135711 thanks for your advice, you sounds like my big sis/bro :') (whatever ur gender is).

You have a heart of sympathy towards your mom, I wish I could be like you more.

Just curious, what did you feel when u knew about this? (If you dont mind me asking)

 

[paula135711]

@cookie1720 I felt bad for my mom and thought, maybe it would’ve been prevented if one of us is at home with her. But I was glad my mom wasn’t hurt or anything. Though, I eventually made arrangements and moved back home a few months after the incident. Now both of us have the same habit of not picking up calls, especially from unknown numbers

I’m also so so mad at the scammers targeting the elderly; while they shouldn’t target anyone, the elderly are particularly vulnerable. I still resent them for the fear they instilled in my mom. I wish them a long and difficult life, hoping they get the karma they deserve.

I’m also angry at insensitive keyboard warriors who made thoughtless remarks about my mom’s situation, despite not understanding the context. With the support of our local MP, her incident got media coverage and was posted on social media. These keyboard warriors showed lack of empathy and conprehension. Thankfully, my mom isn’t active on social media so she doesn’t have to look at those nonsense.

 

[grampster]

@cookie1720 Then is there anything you can do with stubborn parents? Speaking from my experience, it’s a big fat NO. Just let them do whatever they want so long as you’re not affected.

 

[puremgtowpaladin]

@cookie1720 Yes I know that all our older generation parents are susceptible to scams like these, but nasi dah jadi bubur, so the only thing you can do is educate her and your family members not to believe in all these bullshits or click on any links that were sent to their phone.

Also believe me, your mum is taking it harder than everyone, and blaming her will just make it worse for her mentally. So just sit down and tell her that its okay, and be more aware in the future and like you said tell her to tell you that if there's something that she is unsure of, make sure she contact you or your siblings first anytime.

 

[micha]

@cookie1720 This is outside of this sub topic a bit - but if there is a lack of trust in telling the truth then you may want to try and address that. Money unlikely to be recovered, but trust can be rebuilt. Of course need two hands to clap, but someone has to start the process and may as well it be you.

 

[katarina978]

@micha This. Money is less important than family trust and relationship. Focus on that

 

[cookie1720]

@micha Yup, you're right

 

[m2j9]

@grampster This is the answer OP. Rebuild and always verify.

 

[plavious]

@cookie1720 Nothing.

Forget about it and move on.

Don’t try to help restore the loss unless you’re super rich and this 42k won’t even cause you to give a F.

 

[cookie1720]

@plavious exactly, thank you.

 

[evangelicalangelic]

@cookie1720 both of yall are adult, you and your mom have own responsibilities to handle.

take it as a lesson. money can earn back. dont take the mistakes she made as your own.

move on

 

[cookie1720]

@evangelicalangelic ''money can earn back", yes i keep on reminding myself on this can be earned back, but it's her 20 years of hard earned money.

 

[emanuela]

@cookie1720 Yeah I know why people always say "money can earn back" or "this is a lesson learnt" but that doesn't really help, because obviously you learnt it already. It hurts like hell no matter what. Sometimes you can't sleep because you keep replaying the events in your head on what could've been different. It's exhausting, depressing and it can very easily swallow you up if you let it.

Try to release stress and grief in a safe way. Can go sing karaoke loud loud scream, or make a wooden face of that sh*thead that scam your mom and whack it kao kao with a brick or something. If you have a group of supportive friends or family that will help a lot too, talking about what happened.

Then once you feel less stressed, try to refocus on what is important in life, what matters most. If you're religious can go seek peace and comfort. Try to restart again, it's tough, but let's go.

 

[evangelicalangelic]

@emanuela this elaborates well. in the money can be earned back.

my parents too would fall into scams but not to this extent, in general still scams la.

we need to find things/ways to cope with this expensive lesson. we need time and a lot reflection. its easier to said than done. I wish you all the best and good luck.

 

[orange34]

@cookie1720 Never replace the 42k with your money. So that the 42k will be her stupidity fee. My parent also have been scammed and revived from it. The only thing you can do know is to makesure you and your other family dont get scammed again.

 

[cookie1720]

@orange34 Initially I thought it's my responsibility to make up the 42k lost. but i should take ur advice