Considering a career change and probable paycut, looking for advice on things to be aware of

[goatsandroses]

I'm (33 M) married (33 F) and we've two children under 3. For a combination of factors, good timing and luck being two important ones I have found myself in quite a senior role in a relatively specialised sector at a relatively young age, my colleagues range in age from 40-retirement.

2 years ago I got a promotion and I'm earning roughly 80k presently (opportunity to hit 100k within 5-10 years), my wife earns 60k. We live well within our means, no debt besides our mortgage (manageable €900 p/m, including life insurance) and we live a generally charmed existence financially. We have savings of roughly 30k as well.

My work can be very intense and time consuming - as you'd expect given the remuneration - there's a lot of travel, late nights and lack of work/life balance.

It has started to have a impact on my family life, and my own physical and mental health. I'm considering changing sector, I'll probably need to adjust my salary expectations. I'm wondering if anyone has changed sector/career, taken a significant pay cut and how you went about managing that?

 

[gardenlady]

@goatsandroses

It has started to have a impact on my family life, and my own physical and mental health. I'm considering changing sector, I'll probably need to adjust my salary expectations. I'm wondering if anyone has changed sector/career, taken a significant pay cut and how you went about managing that?

Fair play for prioritising your health and your family. At the same time, I'd be wary of making drastic career changes. It's not like someone on 50k in another sector has a job that's half as stressful as someone on 100k. Their job could be more stressful, and they have additional financial stress on top of that!

Do you have the ability to take a step back within your current sector? Better the devil you know than the devil you don't maybe.

Or do you have the opportunity to take a sabbatical? Maybe some time away from your job to properly decompress would give you the opportunity to reassess your approach to the role.

 

[resjudicata]

@gardenlady On the flip side of things, taking a 10k pay cut is really only a 4.8k pay cut because of taxes. If you can get a job with a much better work life balance that pays you 70k, the extra 4.8k in your current job is not worth the extra stress and loss of health.

Also, OP seems to be in a pretty good financial position with two really high earners in the family.

 

[gardenlady]

@resjudicata

If you can get a job with a much better work life balance that pays you 70k, the extra 4.8k in your current job is not worth the extra stress and loss of health.

Totally agree. I think this is probably what OP should look for. That would probably fall into the "take a step back in your current sector" path. They won't get that starting in a new sector like OP is talking about potentially doing.

 

[goatsandroses]

@gardenlady A sabbatical probably wouldn't be possible unless I took a period of parental leave, but that might be worth considering!

Fully appreciate the OP could be read as assuming less money = less stress, not how I intended it to read. Actually cope quite well with pressure and stress, more the demands on time are the current problem. Unfortunately that's the culture and I won't be able to change it, however much I think it should.

 

[riversong]

@goatsandroses Some alternative solutions might not be that obvious when that stressed, and in the middle of things. I was in a very similar situation to you OP, long hours, travel, stress that used to be life affirming, now becoming overwhelming...... and it was affecting my mental health, my family life, and my self-worth. (in hindsight there was also some unpleasant compeititveness in our org, that I didn't play into)There are option, that seem obvious to me now that I am in a better place, that didn't even occur to me at the time....I took the option you are considering....I went to leave the company, for a less stressful role....and handed in my notice.... but was offered a change of role, and at last minute I changed my mind and stayed.... ( I dont know if that was right...) I took a less stressful role in same employer, but I don't know if that was the right move either. It can be hard when you were senior to be seen to step back, and it can feel career limiting, (rationally it shouldn't matter, but we are monkeys and sometimes/somewhere in the uglier parts of our brain ranking matters, no matter what our rational brain tells us....it can feel that way, and certainly is seen that way by some toxic folk.) I took a role that was at best a lateral move, but really a step back, but it was with folk I enjoy, on topics I was interested in and I had a a year and half of very little stress... and got to spend time with kids, and I do not regret it... I am beginning to step up again at work, and made another move back to original type of role, parts of me wonder if I should, and i know there are questions over my head among some who see what I did as a weakness......., that said, the folk who have those questions are the ones to avoid, and those who understand life stages, are very understanding, and I get the impression almost see the break I took as a sign of strength...so I think I have naturally found the leaders who have a little empathy, that way. (I might be a little rose tinted that way)I am beginning to start to go back on the path I was known for, and yes it did come at a cost to my career progression, but I am getting to be ok with that now also.

Options I didn't consider when I was in the middle of it, but that I now wish I had considered, were:

1. Taking parental leave. God I wish I had just done this for a bit..
2. just slacking off a little with what I was doing, and being kinder to myself. I was burning candle at both ends, no one really appreciated that, and frankly those for whom I was covering, or those who never worked like I did, continue and progress in similar roles anyway.. slacking off a little might be a very, very valid answer, sometimes all it needs is to learn to say no to a few things.
3. Asking for a change of role at work, but framing it not as I am struggling in my current role, but that I need to change for development and balance. And stipulating I would like less travel. (My manager denied me this, but I could and should have gone around him....)
4. I had a manager who showed me and others very little empathy........ I should have looked to change from him sooner.

Also, not wanting to blame my former manager who is human, and was probably doing his best, I wonder if two children under 3 and travel probably means your sleep cycle is badly messed up..then the stress creates a feedback loop here messing it up further. This is what I see in hindsight also hit me..hard... and I was not aware of it at the time, and my poor wife was also suffering the same. Prioritizing sleep, self care and exercise over work, TV, comfort eating, and other distractions. Is something I am better at now. After having a major mental wobble when I went to leave, I went to therapist. Honestly, there are things I needed to say, or express, that should not be said at work, to friends, or even to a partner, that I found helpful to fully explore, with them.........it wont give you solutions.. but, it might make you feel better and more capable to find them.. I wish I had done is sooner or for longer...Best of luck..

 

[gardenlady]

@goatsandroses

A sabbatical probably wouldn't be possible unless I took a period of parental leave, but that might be worth considering!

If you're feeling burnt out then surely taking your full allocation of parental leave is an obvious first step, rather than jumping straight to "I need to change career completely"

 

[wifeseekinggod]

@goatsandroses Probably need a bit more info to give decent advice on this. You don't specify your job or your sector, or if you just intend to change sector or to entirely change career. Those are dramatically different things - for example, one could go from being a software developer in big tech to financial services. That's a change in sector and a reduction in salary but not something that will sink you, so not a big deal IMO if you're unhappy in your current line of work.

On the other hand, a change in career could mean re-training in a new area, beginning on an entry-level salary and totally starting over again. If this is what you mean, then you just need to be sure that (a) there's a legit reason for choosing this new career and you've investigated this line of work fully, and (b) it's feasible to do everything it entails (i.e., is your partner on board? is the reduction on household income manageable? etc.). The way I see it, barring any sort of FIRE planning you have, you're going to be working for another 30-35 years in some capacity. Would you be content doing that on your current career track?

 

[goatsandroses]

@wifeseekinggod Sorry in an attempt to be vague and anonymous I was too obtuse in my description. I suppose the simplest explanation is that I specialise in a HR/employment law role.

A) I'm beginning that process.

B) My partner is fully on board, my work is making her own career very difficult to maintain given a lot of domestic work falls to her because of my travelling and unpredictable schedule. There is the additional impact it's having on our home and family life too.

Thanks very much for the reply, definitely wouldn't be content doing this work for the next 32 years (pension scheme retirement age is 65 ).

 

[wifeseekinggod]

@goatsandroses No need to apologise. Totally understandable.

If the finances end up making sense and the change definitely seems like something that would make you happier, then best of luck with it. I'm assuming you can always go back if it ends up being not the right move.

 

[xpres]

@goatsandroses I’ve just done the same. I’m 36, about to turn 37, and I’ve went from a 6 figure salary to reducing it by 50% because I value my sanity and soul.

I want a proper work/life balance and doing something I enjoy.

Main advice is to ensure you’re still able to pay your bills and put food on the table. If you’re doing something that’s better schedule wise, no on-call, no late nights and weekends, the time you get back (and your sanity) will quickly outweigh the pay check at the end of the month.

Good luck and congrats on putting yourself and your family first. It took me too long to do that.

 

[leedixon]

@xpres Well done. If only mode were like you!This will pay dividends in the long run with respect to your health, wellbeing and enrich your family life

 

[andramaxy]

@goatsandroses

My work can be very intense and time consuming - as you'd expect given the remuneration - there's a lot of travel, late nights and lack of work/life balance.

Would you consider saying to your employer that you like the company, like the work, are happy with the pay, but you’re struggling with the work/life balance and are considering changing career, however you’d prefer not to if things can change? Maybe you could get the hours down or have only one trip abroad per month, stuff like that?

It’s hard to know without understanding the role more, but from what you’re describing €80k does not sound like that outlandish a salary, so I would not worry too much about pushing to shape the role around your needs. They can take it or leave it, but they’ll probably take it if you’re good at what you do and they want to keep you.

 

[chinyereukoha]

@goatsandroses I'm literally at the same point myself, I'd love to change up roles / industry but struggling to identify what kind of role I should go for. Have you gone and had any discussions with career coaches or recruitment agencies?

 

[martaja]

@chinyereukoha Hey I'm similar, were you able to figure out some sort of plan career wise?

 

[chinyereukoha]

@martaja Nope not as of yet, have CV prepared and constantly looking on public jobs.ie

 

[emerald514]

@goatsandroses I’m in your boat now, on similar money working for an American company but the workload is off the wall and stripping away my work/life balance.

I’ve been trying to see what it looks like to step down to to certain figures and the only way I’ve been able to conceptualise it is to artificially lower my salary and put the excess into saving, budgeting according to what my new salary would be.

I haven’t made the move yet but I will be soon, I’m currently taking my time to try and make sure the next place I work/contract, has the balance I’m looking for.

Fair play to you for prioritising the problem, it took me far too long to be honest and has hurt my home life.

 

[unekfaith]

@goatsandroses I don’t think you should lower your salary expectations due to changing sector. You may be surprised of salaries given your skill set, despite not feeling like you have experience in that new sector. Take your time finding the right job and keep your salary expectations high.

 

[americandeist]

@goatsandroses Work out your budget, get a financial buffer of 1 month bills minimum, then go for it. Your new job must obviously be able to cover your living expenses, otherwise find one that can. It might be worth considering doing a short course to gain some prerequisite skills in order to land the slightly higher paying job which would cover your living expenses

 

[goatsandroses]

Hi all, just wanted to say thanks very much for all the considered responses, I've taken it all on board. For the first time I've scheduled time to sit down and work through our expenses with a fine tooth comb, seems an obvious place to start but I was a bit overwhelmed when I posted here first.

I'll try to improve my current job in the first instance, and if that doesn't work I'll take some leave I'm entitled to, both to recharge and consider options.

Thanks again, sound bunch.