Burnout! Need advice!

[ikpokolo]

Goal is obviously financial independence!

I (M25) am currently working 55-60 hours a week. I am struggling to enjoy the work and struggling to handle the stress of this job mainly because of the hours. In short, I am starting to burnout. I honestly think I could handle the stress and would very much enjoy the job, if I was only working 40-45 hours... Beyond that, working this many hours makes it hard for me to focus on my wife and son as much as I want to and feel I should. It also means few hobbies and not much of a life outside of work.

We are currently investing 11% into a Roth 401(k) S&P fund with the employer matching 4%. Due to my age, we'll likely only need to go a couple more years like this and we'll be able to retire reasonably comfortably at 65 with no more contributions.

What I can't figure out is what I can or should do so as to be able to cut my hours or even retire before 65. It seems wasteful to not continue increasing our Roth 401(k) contributions until that is maxed out so as to capitalize on the tax advantages. However, we can't touch that money until 59 1/2 without some steep fees... I would like to get to where work is something I do not for the money but for something to do so as to transition into full retirement slowly. At this point, I don't have a lot of time to pour into a side hustle and its really really hard to justify cutting back in hours to work on a side hustle since I get paid double time after 45 hours. Also, very frankly, I don't really have any inspiration for a side hustle... Depending on the side hustle, I think I would enjoy having a side hustle that I could potentially build up to become our main income.

Should I consider a new job? (This is a very stable job and I do love the type work, just not the amount...) Just keep going as is? Side hustle advice/ideas? Investment suggestions? Just feeling a bit lost on what I should do?

(Concerning side hustle ideas, I enjoy cars and tech, although haven't gotten into either of those much beyond what I NEED due to lack of time. I think I'd enjoy remodeling/updating houses with my wife but not quite sure how to get into real estate beyond our primary house? And I would love to get a boat but I don't really see that as much as a side hustle as just an expensive hobby once we're better off.)

We are blessed in that we have enough extra to be worrying about investing etc instead of always worrying about how we are going to manage to put food on the table. However, I just feel very lost on how to best capitalize on this current blessing so as to become completely financially independent.

 

[alvinou]

@ikpokolo Have you spoken to your managers about your burnout?

Framing the excessive hours as having a negative impact on your long term output may align their goals with yours, especially if they consider you an asset and want to keep you.

If they are driven by short term results without regard for your health, and are unwilling to compromise, looking for another job is the next best option if your at the end of your rope.

Given that you predict your retirement nest egg will be fully funded in just a few short years at this job, it may be worth sticking it out while that plan comes to fruition. When that's complete, your expenses can be reduced by the amount of your contributions, giving some breathing room when looking for job opportunities that align with your schedule needs.

As a footnote, I would not stop building your nest egg even if you consider it fully funded, but a temporary stop in contributions will give you some wiggle room to restructure your career path.

 

[ikpokolo]

@alvinou Thanks for the reply!

As far as talking to managers about burnout, I haven't talked expressly about burnout. I have sorta mentioned it in passing or asked for a raise in the past due to burnout but wasn't specific with why I was asking for a raise. I am thinking I'll sit down with them and see if I can get a raise that would allow me to keep my pay and drop to at least 50 hours...

 

[jonathanxr]

@ikpokolo I encourage you to schedule a check in meeting with your managers about your performance and bring this up. They may believe you like the overtime or they may not know there might be an issue keeping you working that amount. A good manager will want you to be a good contributor and that means being a human being and making working sustainable.

I was in this same situation and directly brought up the topic with my managers this past week and we are working to make an adjustment. I love my work but I also need to be a human being. It was causing me a lot of distress and was affecting my abilities and mental health and it was not sustainable.

There comes a point where you realize the money is not always worth the hustle and you can always change your outlook on life to adjust to your financial situation. No point in burning out early and having to struggle because of adverse side effects. Try to aim for what is sustainable, not what is fast. You hopefully have decades left of life, there is no rush. 11% contribution at 25 is very good and you're giving yourself a large cushion to fuel decades of compound interest. You're doing great but prioritize your self and your happiness.

 

[petr0s]

@ikpokolo Last year, I took a lower-paying, less prestigious job for better work-life balance. It was totally worth it.

 

[ikpokolo]

@petr0s Good for you!

I have tossed this one around quite a bit... More on the side of equal pay and less hours but worse work environment. There are similar paying jobs that are, in comparison to my current job, very unstable (really slow down and often lay people off during recessions...), physically exhausting, and rather dead end.

On the side of lower-paying, I struggle a good bit with that because I did live paycheck to paycheck for awhile and that was stressful in its own right! Because of that I think, I am kinda fearful of taking a lower paying job? (What helped me out of the paycheck to paycheck cycle was higher income without spending more... I think now, with the little experience we have, we could scale back our spending to match a lower income but the fear of paycheck to paycheck kinda scares me to accept lower income... :/ )

 

[timothygrae]

@ikpokolo You need to sit down, possibly with your wife and do a real risk/reward and or Benefits/Costs analysis of where you all currently are and what your goals are.

You can only go so long on the road to burn out before you are burned out. You have to find a way to change that before you end up just done.

If it were me here’s what i would recommend: Sit down with your wife and talk about your goals, where you want to be, how you want to get there and how you currently feel.

You may find an answer that is completely out of left field from talking with her.

That being said a few things to keep in mind, your company probably has competitors. Odds are one of them pays as well or better than your company. You may be able to jump ship and do the same thing but for fewer hours.

If you end up deciding that you want to stay where you are, and making what you make for the hours your working you need a way to offset that. Maybe it’s a hobby, maybe it’s travel, maybe it’s something else but you need to find a way to mitigate burn out.

 

[prettysailorvictoria]

@ikpokolo First... Take a deep breath. You have to take care of your current self as much as you have to take care of your future self. If you're burning out, that's your mind and body telling you to slow down. While the following is not financial advice, if you're not living your life today, you're missing out on time and experiences that you simply do not get back "when you're financially ready." See: Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle,"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then

For what it's worth, the conversations you're bringing up are indicating that you're ahead of the curve. Please keep in mind that it is possible for you to 'spend' some of that position on the here and now as much as it is possible for you to save for an early retirement.

Second.. If you're looking to go the FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) route, there are subreddits for that. It boils down to: "Make as much money as you can in a short period of time" + "Reduce your expenses to the absolute bare minimum." There are often compromises to this lifestyle - you typically make money in a HCOL area and then move to a LCOL area to spend it more frugally. You also often don't have time for a meaningful relationship with a wife and a kid - because while it's possible for the wife may be on board for the rigor of a FIRE lifestyle, kids cost money and they don't stop costing money for 20+ years. Not saying it's impossible. But they are often life choices that are exclusive of each other... And you already have the kid.

Third.. If your plans have you retiring before 59.5, then retirement-oriented tax-sheltered accounts may not be appropriate for you. You may want to balance your 401(k) contribution with retail investment accounts to provide you with some money before the 59.5 mark and some money after. You definitely want to take advantage of the 4% match. But, beyond that, how you shape your investments should be driven by your goals. Not some edict from on high that, "401(k) good! Taxed investing bad!"

This is a journey and a process, not a goal. 35-40 years is an incredibly long time for things to go wonderfully right... or unexpectedly wrong. Both will happen to you and you're going to have to adjust. That's just how life is. Which is to say... Balance a being content and happy today with preparing for the future. Recognize that you have no idea what you're going to have to deal with, but that - with your wife beside you and the current and any future kiddos, too - you are setting yourself up for a future where you're able to handle whatever that is together.

Lastly - and perhaps staying more on-topic to your initial question - the thing that's perhaps missing in your thoughts is self-investment. What can you be doing today - even at a modest cost - that will help you make even more money in the future. Education is top on that list, but it doesn't have to be in the formal "college degree" sense. Some part of your time should always be spent in self-investment. Making it so 10-20-30 years down the road, you are current and your past experience combines with that education to position you better for the future.

So anyway.. internet hugs friend.. keep on keepin' on!

 

[gfalaro]

@prettysailorvictoria What an amazing reply

 

[ikpokolo]

@prettysailorvictoria Thanks for the reply! Lots of good thoughts to unpack there! thanks!

 

[notmyname]

@ikpokolo I personally left a job that was killing me for a job that is 45 hours a week tops and pays more. Also don’t forget you can withdraw the contributions to a Roth tax and penalty free at any time if I’m not mistaken.

 

[ftacky]

@ikpokolo The only obvious thing I would be doing is contributing the amount you need to in order to get the match. You already said you make overtime after 45 hours. If you only want to work 45 hours and can pay your bills I would look for a job that is 45 hours. At 25 you have tunnel vision. I'm 48, twice divorced, have cancer, have gone through multiple layoffs, taken the time off from work even unpaid to be with my babies. I took 16 weeks off average with each one. I'm still doing OK. My family has invested in real estate and low cost mutual funds. I learned about finance at an early age. When I could I saved as much as I could but rarely worked any overtime or weekends. That's my time to rest, recover , and enjoy my kids. You never know what life is going to throw at you but I never regretted that time being with my kids. You have to consider the time factor. You can't get it back.

 

[suemariejudith]

@ikpokolo You should look into FIRE (financial independence retire early).

 

[ikpokolo]

@suemariejudith Thanks! I have been reading into this a lot over the last couple of years and it has helped tremendously on the financial side. We have made a lot of gains but I'm just burning out from it all!

 

[resjudicata]

@ikpokolo OP, I'll let others focus on the burnout part, but I'm curious about the financial independence goal.

You're working that many hours, don't have much time to spend money otherwise, and you are only saving 11% ? Or is this simply the portion going to 401k?

My first question would be, instead of worrying about side hustles, is there money that is being used now in a less than effective away? If your stretched thin and there's no way to trim the spending then absolutely reconsider your plans to avoid burnout. However, if you can maximize your saving/investing by minimizing your outgoing money in areas that don't NEED it, you may be able lower that stress and shorten the timeline towards a healthier place mentally and financially.

 

[ikpokolo]

@resjudicata investing 11% into 401(k)... We have saved up and purchased a vehicle. We have put a good bit extra on our mortgage payment... We spend more on traveling than we would need but that helps with the burnout! We could slow down on paying down the mortgage and pull back 401(k) contributions and then work fewer hours but its hard to leave money on the table... eventually if I don't get a raise but stick to this job we'll need to do something like that probably...

 

[resjudicata]

@ikpokolo I think it might be time to sit down and really analyze the money coming in and going out. Without knowing your income and expenses it's hard to determine where you might have inefficiencies.

Are you contributing to an IRA? Do you have an emergency savings goal?

I'm definitely in the conservative group financially and often would be at odds with the "live your life" now people. The delayed gratification conversation can go on for hours.... but if I were you I'd look first to reduce expenses and see if you can accomplish your same savings goals with slightly less income (thereby reducing burnout by working less).

Perhaps take a look at
r/frugal
r/personalfinance
r/leanfire (might be able to put in perspective the minimum needed to lighten your load)

 

[ikpokolo]

@resjudicata All of our retirement funds are in a Roth 401(k).

yes. we carry an emergency fund of 3-6 months... we had been carrying a bit more going into the pandemic and decided to reduce it a bit and use some of it to purchase a vehicle. But we are still carrying 3-6 months...

 

[carrietw]

@ikpokolo Talk to your boss. I was burning out, found out I could keep the job on reduced schedule. It's still a good wage and I'm happier. It's worth a conversation.

 

[love2travel]

@ikpokolo Do not buy a boat, boat stands for, Break Out Another Thousand. Seriously, any repair on any boat my friends have had averages out to about that, never mind a $100 gas up for a cruise around the bay. You’re 25 and burnt out? I hate to say it but you need to man the fuck up and grind it out. Not for you but for your family. I don’t know the line of work but it sounds like you have a good gig going with an excellent employer who provides OT with retirement match. You got at least 30 more years to go, grind out the ones you can while you’re young enough to physically and mentally do it.