Am I wrong to believe that my partner buying a house with his mom, plus getting a van to live in, is a terrible idea?

[rlancer1005]

@oneservant Wait.

Here's what I'm getting:

He's going to bro down with a friend of his 3+ nights a week, sleeping in a walmart parking lot.

At the same time, he's going to convince his mom's rich friend to buy a house, rent that house from them, while his mother subsequently pays him rent to live there too.

Are you sure this is something you want to be associated with?

This is personal finance post, but you need to decide if you love this guy and his mother enough to live with these kinds of ideas for the next 60 years. Don't fool yourself, she'll be living with you.

The house idea isn't going to work. Period. Mom's rich friend isn't going to buy your BF a house. That's not how the world works.

The van idea? He's got a point. Living in a van will reduce his housing costs, but that's only going to shake out one of three ways:

1. Sometime between buying the van, starting the first step of renovating it, and the 5th night in it he realizes this is a stupid mistake. Hopefully he hasn't lost the lease to his apartment yet. He's still the same idiot, except now he has a creepy van too.
2. He sticks it out with van life. The home purchase thing didn't work out because no fucking shit. He lives in a van now with a friend. They're both at your place all the time because cops said they couldn't stay at Walmart and you have free hot showers. You eventually kick him to the curb and they disappear. Rumor is they drove down south.
3. Same as number two, except he resurfaces in four years as a tech mogul in SoCal. His friend remains missing.

 

[jackwalt]

@oneservant Oh boy. There is a lot in here:

1. Do not buy a house that is not under his name. This sounds like either a scam or a rental situation. In which case, the house is owned by the friend, the mortgage is his/her, and so are the decisions surrounding selling or kicking your bf out. What your boyfriend and his mom will be are tenants that are just promised ownership and the ”mom’s friend” is probably just taking advantage and will be making money by forwarding ownership expenses to your BF and his mom.
2. If he is buying the house and taking on purchase and ownership expenses (i.e. lawyer’s fee,house insurance, mortgage insurance, mortgage interest, maintenance, taxes), and then selling it in 3 years, then he is looking to gamble on something that mught not even appreciate. Note that houses in 2021 depreciated in 2022 and people are forced to sell at a loss. Right now, the housing market is super ridiculous and it is hard to predict as to whether the value will double/triple in just a short time. In which case, if the value goes up by only a little, then he would just lose on money from the expenses i mentioned above.
3. What is his plan in 3 years? Kick his mom out? I have a feeling that he will most likely take her in and you need to be prepared to live together with his mom.
4. If his mom is renting from him, he needs to declare those as rental income. He can declare the other expenses as expenditures for owning a rental though, but he needs to learn how landlords do their taxes. If his mom co-owns, then it is a different story.
5. If he buys now, he loses his first time home buyer. Be prepared for a high downpayment when it is time for both of you to get your home together.

Overall, it is bad.

 

[jparadise]

@oneservant | He’d rather buy something now and sell it in 3ish years -

Ah... the speculation buyer! The closing costs, lawyer fees, land transfer taxes etc. etc. Will just come from the next poor shmuck right? This is literally a Ponzi scheme of real estate that won't hold up forever as the government is trying to slowly dismantle it.

 

[angiasky89]

@oneservant I agree that this is a terrible idea all around, but given you've only been torgather for 1 year I wouldn't really say its your place to veto it, or play much role in the decision process at all. If I were you I would be honest and advise against it, but accept he may go through with it and there's not much you can do. Decide on your own - if he goes through with it and ruins his finances, is that a deal breaker for you?

 

[res1122]

@oneservant No, you're not wrong

 

[dawn4ever64]

@oneservant Do you really want to be in a three way relationship when you and the other woman are at odds?

 

[lurya]

@dawn4ever64 Maybe more of a foursome I bet Mommy is banging the rich friend (interest payments you know)

 

[finleyk]

@oneservant Gee he sounded like a man child. Lol. But probably fun to be with, I must say.

 

[rose2017]

@oneservant Living in a van seems awesome and I have no issues with it. I however, did not read your book.

 

[nzubechi]

@rose2017 Thanks for letting us know.

 

[oneservant]

@nzubechi lol fr

 

[kdjlove]

@oneservant I think that if the rich friend covers all the costs, and gets the home, he needs to calculate his monthly expenses plus the payback. At 80k it’s not a bad salary, will you be helping him by moving in the house and assisting with living expenses? Will he get rid of the van to live in if he gets the house? Sorry if you mentioned that already.

 

[oneservant]

@kdjlove No sweat! Realizing my post could use some clarifying.

He hasn’t bought a van yet—he says he wants to buy both the house and van at the same time. He wants the van because the only houses he could afford (even with his mom) are outside of Toronto, and he doesn’t want to deal with long commutes everyday.

I also would not be moving in with him, it would just be him and his mom.

 

[jessecromo]

@oneservant Super confused. So he is buying a house, but he will be living in a van. Why doesn’t he just live in the apartment he already has for 1300$ and also, errr, “buy” the house for his mom.

I mean, living in a van in downtown Toronto might not be cheaper than $1300. Like, where would he park? Or get electricity and water?

Btw, another point of confusion: why is his mother friend buying the house outright and they are paying her back in some kind of weird buy-to-own scheme?

Prior to them paying off this house, what occupancy status would they have? Are they owners, part owners, tenants, some kind of weird beneficiaries of a living trust? What happens if the friend should pass away unexpectedly? Are they in the will?

Why wouldn’t she just lend them money as a personal loan, but use the house as collateral? Why the extra step?

I don’t know. There is like a lot of magical thinking going on here.

 

[meetha]

@oneservant Speaking as a Torontonian, finding a regular place to park your van for free and get away with living in it is only possible in sitcoms.

 

[kdjlove]

@oneservant Ahhh okay. That’s unfortunately the reality for many us. We have to live in the suburbs like myself and make the commute. I think it would be a lot of money and better off getting a decent car and putting up with the commute.

 

[epetatlo1978]

@oneservant That's all bad, and sounds like a fight in the making.

Living in a van for the warm months isn't a terrible idea. More and more people are moving to that. I know people that have done that, it's a great way to save, if you are dedicated enough to actually save the money.

I wouldn't date someone in that situation unless they had separate living spaces.

 

[lurya]

@epetatlo1978 Good to see that there will always be people with low standards, yeah then you get to bang on the floor of the van with one of those air mattresses from Walmart, and when it springs a leak that "whoosh" sound will make you wonder what are you doing with your life.

 

[vanantwerp]

@oneservant The friend can sell the house to your BF and the friend can hold the mortgage. That will stop the mom from saying it is her house. At least she will have no legal claim to it. You just hope that she continues to pay the rent. She should sign a lease with your bf as well because in the event that she stops paying rent your bf (god forbid) could legally evict her.

All of this seems like a setting for his mom moving in - stops saying rent - the mortgage is not paid - the friend takes the house and the mom pays the friend rent or gets evicted.

Although your BF could park the van down near the river and start his own motivational speaking company.