@skelly First of all you can dig yourself out. This sucks and the feeling of helplessness and shame is real, but you’re going to be fine if you just take action. Great news is you have a really healthy take home pay so you have a choice.
I had about 20k that I paid off years ago while I was making about 60k/year. I was also considering bankruptcy because the balance just kept going up and my credit score was tanking.
For a couple years I was doing a combo of snowball and avalanche — primarily avalanche but if I got within payoff distance on any balance over 0% interest I would just knock it out and add that to my payments. Avalanche is better in terms of $ saved but the psychological benefit is huge on knocking out a payment and it’s not that much of a deviation from avalanche. I did not move in with family because I felt too much shame over the situation I was in.
Then I finally got sick of it and took a personal loan. That was a game changer. In retrospect I wish I had shopped with FCUs because my interest rate was 11% and likely could have been lower. But that gave me one monthly payment and zeroed out my cards. Also slingshotted my credit score into the 700s because the bureaus treat installment loans favorably and revolving credit unfavorably.
The interest and savings were obviously big but the most important thing to me was that it put me in a frame of mind where I could treat my credit card like a debit card — watch my transactions like a HAWK and pay them all off every month. No exceptions. I started compulsively checking Mint the way that some people check their notifications. At least for me, seeing the balances at zero and feeling that relief for the first time in years made the cards feel completely different and made it way easier to use them responsibly (in part because I didn’t want to go through it today).
Whether you want to use any of the methods I used is up to you. I think the biggest non-negotiable is that you need to have a budget and you need to micromanage your expenses while you pay this down. But you have the tools and you should be able to do it in a few years — and reclaim some autonomy over your finances well before then.