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@obuscador Yeah, it’s hard for us to help without a more detailed budget breakdown. Mortgage is good, groceries are perhaps a little high, but not egregiously so, it’s everything else. $2000 for medical expenses and subscriptions is very suspicious. $4500 for bills, student loans, car payment...

@cjohn198 Yeah, 8500 a month after taxes is great money. I’m highly dubious that all of OP’s $8000 spending per month is actually necessary.

@saskia If the spouse refuses to cut spending, that’s a separate issue. Kids are expensive, yes, but the parents should be on the same page about finances. If not, counseling is probably in order.